I recently returned from Nairobi, Kenya. Without a doubt, those were two of the best weeks of my life. When people come back from another place and say "I left part of my heart there" it makes me want to laugh but I can relate now. My trip to Moldova was not an experience like that. It was an adventure that I was meant to be a part of and my heart was impacted and blessed by the people but my experience in Africa was way more than that.
I have a heart for Africa. Not just because it is a "trendy" thing to go there. I had dreamed of going there for a long time and knew there was a reason why God gave me a passion for the countries and the people there. When I went, I fell in love. With Kenya. With the people. With the culture. It is different. That is why I like culture though. I like experiencing new culture and meeting new people. One of my favorite parts of traveling to different places is making connections in different parts of the world. Now when I go out of the country I think about what God taught me in Moldova - although people in other countries seem so far away it doesn't change who God is; He isn't far away there. He is the same God in Moldova or Africa or anywhere else as He is here and we are all His people. That changed my perspective of other countries. It made the connection so much stronger.
My time in Africa was life changing. The words that describe it best are in this song...
"Heal my heart and make it clean.
Open up my eyes to the things unseen.
Show me how to love like You have loved me.
Break my heart for what breaks Yours.
Everything I am for Your Kingdom's cause
As I walk from earth into eternity."
The first week was spent in orphanages, schools, slums, and ministering to the people who live on the street. The kids have the most beautiful hearts. When we would drive up to a school or an orphanage kids would come running to our bus yelling "muzungu, muzungu", which is what they call white people. They immediately wanted us to pick them up or to touch their hands. When we helped lead skits or songs, my favorite part was just listening to them sing. Their beautiful voices were full of the joy and love of the Lord. At one point, tears I could not control slid down my cheeks as I listened to them sing; they were so trusting and so innocent. I also loved just being with them. They would walk around attached to our side the whole time we were there. The love they so needed was obvious and I wanted more than anything to give it. Throughout the days God just filled us with His love and we were able to just pour and pour and pour it all back out on the people there. The people there also LOVE to take pictures with you then actually see the picture. (Thank God for digital cameras!) I have never felt so much love or given as much love as I did in the orphanages, and in the schools, and doing street ministry. The week was full. We would go from one place in the morning to another place a little later then to another place in the afternoon. Some days were tiring but the fact that God wanted us there couldn't be questioned.
The second week was youth camp time!! I love youth camp here every summer... But youth camp with 1100 Kenyan teens takes it to a whole other level! Between services, and workshops, and worship, and especially dancing they are just so passionate! During worship I would be standing near the front and occasionally I would turn my head to just see the whole room of youth singing and raising their hands or dancing and clapping or simply pouring their heart out to God and I think that is the most beautiful sight I have ever seen. We prayed with hundreds to receive salvation. We had the privilege of just praying and talking with so many hurting kids. Some of their family stories just tore me a part. The questions they have and the hurt they have experienced would have been too much and too heartbreaking if it were not for God's words and God's strength.
I am going to share one specific story from the two weeks we were there because it impacted me the most. On Saturday in between the two weeks we were doing street ministry. We teamed up with a group there and led skits and songs and group discussions. During this time, Amber (her and her husband are amazing--they started Count Me In) and I were in a group. Amber received a word from God about this specific boy. His name is Samuel. He appeared to be about 12 or 13. Amber felt the Lord speaking to hear about a pain Samuel felt because of a situation with his siblings. Through a translator, because Samuel barely spoke English, we found out that his mom and dad were divorced. His mom remarried and his step dad kicked him out of the house which separated him from his siblings. He is now living on the streets. I just wanted to say "wait, what?" I did not want to believe all of this. I could see the pain in his eyes and the hurt he was carrying, yet the gifts and calling God had for him. Amber wanted sweet Samuel taken care of. She wanted him to come to youth camp the next week so she talked to a guy named Fred (he started a ministry called Joy Divine and he takes boys in off the streets - Fred is awesome and his ministry is amazing) to see what he could do. He ended up bringing him in for the weekend and bringing him to the youth camp! We were so happy to see him on Monday when camp started. My heart had so quickly broken for Samuel. I wanted him to feel God's love. I wanted him to know that God has great plans for him and that He cares for him deeply. But you could see in Samuel's eyes, when he would actually look at you, the pain and the past he was carrying. Everyday though I would see him and I would make an effort to go talk to him or give him a hug or just say hello. He didn't understand much English but the more I talked to him the more he seemed to open up, the more his eyes shined. On Thursday afternoon Amber was able to really talk to him again through a translator. She found out he was 17. 17! No one would have ever guessed that. He had the sweetest innocence in his eyes and just looked so helpless. Amber also found out that he had been living on the streets since he was 7. That means he has been living on the streets for 10 years and never had an education.... which is why he didn't speak English. How is that even possible? Every time I hugged him I could feel the bones in his body. He probably didn't know what to think of the three meals a day at camp. My heart broke for Samuel. Throughout the week I loved seeing him and talking to him. I could see the gradual change in his eyes. One of my favorite things to do was just smile at him. Just smile. He wouldn't smile back at first. He just looked and in his eyes I saw the appreciation. I saw how much it meant to him that someone took time to love him. As the days went by I gradually would get a smirk out of him, not a huge smile that I knew he was capable of, but a smile that showed me he was feeling God's love. That is what I wanted most. On the last night of camp he ended up sitting at the very front which put him right next to me during worship. I will never forget that night. I had never felt so much joy in my life. When worship began he was standing up but had very little expression on his face. As we started to jump and sing, he sat down. I just prayed for him as I continued to worship. At some point I just looked over at him, smiled real big, put my hand out to motion him up and he stood up with me. And he smiled. The sweetest smile you will ever see. When we danced and jumped, he would dance and jump. He clapped even though he didn't know the words. Every once in a while he would sit back down and I would just look over and smile... He would smile back and stand up again. He just needed someone by him. He needed to know he was not alone. Watching him worship and dance and jump up and down was the most joyous sight. Since it was the last night of camp we were all leaving to go to the hostel after service and they were all heading out the next morning. When I left, I didn't just hug him but he hugged me back and smiled his sweet smile. I didn't want to leave camp because that meant I had to leave Samuel, not knowing where he might be living tomorrow and not knowing if there would be someone to show him God's love and not knowing whether or not he would even have one meal the next day or the day after that or the day after that...
Tears poured out of my eyes as we drove away from camp that night. I sat quietly in the dark in the bus and cried for Samuel's hurt, for everything he had gone through, and for the unknown future ahead of him. I cried because God had broken my heart for what broke His. I cried because God had given me His love for His child. I cried because I could do nothing more but trust God with Samuel's life. The only satisfying reminder that worked for me was that I can only love the person in front of me with everything I am. I cannot change all of the hurt and pain in Kenya or in Nairobi or in Samuel who lived on the streets but I can love the person right in front of me. It was a painful goodbye but I pray for him all the time.
Africa changed me. The people there changed me. My heart was broken for them. My heart was broken for their situations and their pain the way God's heart breaks for them. But God also filled me with His love for them and I saw them and I saw their hearts how He does.
I have stories and stories to tell so if you want to hear more ask me and I will gladly share. I tried to express what I felt through it though; my story with Samuel and the bits and pieces that really touched my heart and left the impression on my heart. I am forever changed by what I experienced there. I am thankful for what I experienced. I am thankful for the people there. I am thankful for the wonderful team of family and friends that were a part of this adventure with me. Every part was so perfect. Even through the challenges God was working. And yes, I feel like I left a piece of my heart in Africa. A piece of my heart that God so obviously filled with love that needed to be given out.
