Kenya

I recently returned from Nairobi, Kenya. Without a doubt, those were two of the best weeks of my life. When people come back from another place and say "I left part of my heart there" it makes me want to laugh but I can relate now. My trip to Moldova was not an experience like that. It was an adventure that I was meant to be a part of and my heart was impacted and blessed by the people but my experience in Africa was way more than that.

I have a heart for Africa. Not just because it is a "trendy" thing to go there. I had dreamed of going there for a long time and knew there was a reason why God gave me a passion for the countries and the people there. When I went, I fell in love. With Kenya. With the people. With the culture. It is different. That is why I like culture though. I like experiencing new culture and meeting new people. One of my favorite parts of traveling to different places is making connections in different parts of the world. Now when I go out of the country I think about what God taught me in Moldova - although people in other countries seem so far away it doesn't change who God is; He isn't far away there. He is the same God in Moldova or Africa or anywhere else as He is here and we are all His people. That changed my perspective of other countries. It made the connection so much stronger.

My time in Africa was life changing. The words that describe it best are in this song...

"Heal my heart and make it clean.

Open up my eyes to the things unseen.

Show me how to love like You have loved me.

Break my heart for what breaks Yours.

Everything I am for Your Kingdom's cause

As I walk from earth into eternity."

The first week was spent in orphanages, schools, slums, and ministering to the people who live on the street. The kids have the most beautiful hearts. When we would drive up to a school or an orphanage kids would come running to our bus yelling "muzungu, muzungu", which is what they call white people. They immediately wanted us to pick them up or to touch their hands. When we helped lead skits or songs, my favorite part was just listening to them sing. Their beautiful voices were full of the joy and love of the Lord. At one point, tears I could not control slid down my cheeks as I listened to them sing; they were so trusting and so innocent. I also loved just being with them. They would walk around attached to our side the whole time we were there. The love they so needed was obvious and I wanted more than anything to give it. Throughout the days God just filled us with His love and we were able to just pour and pour and pour it all back out on the people there. The people there also LOVE to take pictures with you then actually see the picture. (Thank God for digital cameras!) I have never felt so much love or given as much love as I did in the orphanages, and in the schools, and doing street ministry. The week was full. We would go from one place in the morning to another place a little later then to another place in the afternoon. Some days were tiring but the fact that God wanted us there couldn't be questioned.

The second week was youth camp time!! I love youth camp here every summer... But youth camp with 1100 Kenyan teens takes it to a whole other level! Between services, and workshops, and worship, and especially dancing they are just so passionate! During worship I would be standing near the front and occasionally I would turn my head to just see the whole room of youth singing and raising their hands or dancing and clapping or simply pouring their heart out to God and I think that is the most beautiful sight I have ever seen. We prayed with hundreds to receive salvation. We had the privilege of just praying and talking with so many hurting kids. Some of their family stories just tore me a part. The questions they have and the hurt they have experienced would have been too much and too heartbreaking if it were not for God's words and God's strength.

I am going to share one specific story from the two weeks we were there because it impacted me the most. On Saturday in between the two weeks we were doing street ministry. We teamed up with a group there and led skits and songs and group discussions. During this time, Amber (her and her husband are amazing--they started Count Me In) and I were in a group. Amber received a word from God about this specific boy. His name is Samuel. He appeared to be about 12 or 13. Amber felt the Lord speaking to hear about a pain Samuel felt because of a situation with his siblings. Through a translator, because Samuel barely spoke English, we found out that his mom and dad were divorced. His mom remarried and his step dad kicked him out of the house which separated him from his siblings. He is now living on the streets. I just wanted to say "wait, what?" I did not want to believe all of this. I could see the pain in his eyes and the hurt he was carrying, yet the gifts and calling God had for him. Amber wanted sweet Samuel taken care of. She wanted him to come to youth camp the next week so she talked to a guy named Fred (he started a ministry called Joy Divine and he takes boys in off the streets - Fred is awesome and his ministry is amazing) to see what he could do. He ended up bringing him in for the weekend and bringing him to the youth camp! We were so happy to see him on Monday when camp started. My heart had so quickly broken for Samuel. I wanted him to feel God's love. I wanted him to know that God has great plans for him and that He cares for him deeply. But you could see in Samuel's eyes, when he would actually look at you, the pain and the past he was carrying. Everyday though I would see him and I would make an effort to go talk to him or give him a hug or just say hello. He didn't understand much English but the more I talked to him the more he seemed to open up, the more his eyes shined. On Thursday afternoon Amber was able to really talk to him again through a translator. She found out he was 17. 17! No one would have ever guessed that. He had the sweetest innocence in his eyes and just looked so helpless. Amber also found out that he had been living on the streets since he was 7. That means he has been living on the streets for 10 years and never had an education.... which is why he didn't speak English. How is that even possible? Every time I hugged him I could feel the bones in his body. He probably didn't know what to think of the three meals a day at camp. My heart broke for Samuel. Throughout the week I loved seeing him and talking to him. I could see the gradual change in his eyes. One of my favorite things to do was just smile at him. Just smile. He wouldn't smile back at first. He just looked and in his eyes I saw the appreciation. I saw how much it meant to him that someone took time to love him. As the days went by I gradually would get a smirk out of him, not a huge smile that I knew he was capable of, but a smile that showed me he was feeling God's love. That is what I wanted most. On the last night of camp he ended up sitting at the very front which put him right next to me during worship. I will never forget that night. I had never felt so much joy in my life. When worship began he was standing up but had very little expression on his face. As we started to jump and sing, he sat down. I just prayed for him as I continued to worship. At some point I just looked over at him, smiled real big, put my hand out to motion him up and he stood up with me. And he smiled. The sweetest smile you will ever see. When we danced and jumped, he would dance and jump. He clapped even though he didn't know the words. Every once in a while he would sit back down and I would just look over and smile... He would smile back and stand up again. He just needed someone by him. He needed to know he was not alone. Watching him worship and dance and jump up and down was the most joyous sight. Since it was the last night of camp we were all leaving to go to the hostel after service and they were all heading out the next morning. When I left, I didn't just hug him but he hugged me back and smiled his sweet smile. I didn't want to leave camp because that meant I had to leave Samuel, not knowing where he might be living tomorrow and not knowing if there would be someone to show him God's love and not knowing whether or not he would even have one meal the next day or the day after that or the day after that...

Tears poured out of my eyes as we drove away from camp that night. I sat quietly in the dark in the bus and cried for Samuel's hurt, for everything he had gone through, and for the unknown future ahead of him. I cried because God had broken my heart for what broke His. I cried because God had given me His love for His child. I cried because I could do nothing more but trust God with Samuel's life. The only satisfying reminder that worked for me was that I can only love the person in front of me with everything I am. I cannot change all of the hurt and pain in Kenya or in Nairobi or in Samuel who lived on the streets but I can love the person right in front of me. It was a painful goodbye but I pray for him all the time.

Africa changed me. The people there changed me. My heart was broken for them. My heart was broken for their situations and their pain the way God's heart breaks for them. But God also filled me with His love for them and I saw them and I saw their hearts how He does.

I have stories and stories to tell so if you want to hear more ask me and I will gladly share. I tried to express what I felt through it though; my story with Samuel and the bits and pieces that really touched my heart and left the impression on my heart. I am forever changed by what I experienced there. I am thankful for what I experienced. I am thankful for the people there. I am thankful for the wonderful team of family and friends that were a part of this adventure with me. Every part was so perfect. Even through the challenges God was working. And yes, I feel like I left a piece of my heart in Africa. A piece of my heart that God so obviously filled with love that needed to be given out.

Support for Africa!

Africa! Support us in a practical way. This is a very neat fundraiser and literally every bit helps. Just read about it and see what you can do! We are tremendously blessed by those who are encouraging and supporting us as we walk out this call! Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Just follow this link to read more!

http://carriganmissiontrips.blogspot.com/2012/05/africa-fundraiser.html

Count Me In: Africa!

This is crazy, exciting and almost surreal. I am going to Africa. My family is going to Africa. The opportunities God has provided for me this year are beyond my expectations. In a previous post I shared about my adventure to Moldova. That trip was my first time to go on a ministry trip and to go out of the country. In the same year I get to take another trip out of the country to a different continent to love on more of God's people.

I am overwhelmed by the amazing places God is taking me this year. I knew this year would be a year of opportunity and experience. Only God knew what all that meant. I still don't.

I do know what God has placed in front of me right now though and I am dedicated to this new adventure. So much responsibility comes with being a part of a trip like this.

First, I have to be preparing myself. I have to be seeking Him and His will so that my heart will align with Him for this trip. You can play a part in that too. Be praying for me. Pray that my heart and eyes would be open for all that God wants to show me for Africa - that I would receive His portion for me so I can pour it out onto the people of Africa.

Also as I prepare myself for this trip I am praying for those in Africa. They are our mission; their hearts. It is my desire that they truly feel God's love and experience Him. Be praying for the hearts of the people in Africa that they would be receptive and that they would be changed, not by us, but through us.

Lastly, this is a costly trip. While we are saving our money we could use your help. For each person to be a part of this adventure to Africa it costs $3600. This includes our flights, housing and food for two weeks, safari we go on in the middle of the two weeks, and pretty much anything we a part of while there. This number times 6 (the number in our family going) seems so huge. God has built my faith so much though and I know He is more than enough. He provided for my trip to Moldova in such a short amount of time. That is nothing to Him.

We are asking that you pray about donating to our trip. Share with others about what God is doing in Africa and get them to play a part. To support my family follow this link and you will be able to donate through our fundraising website. If it is easier you can always send the donation through mail or hand it directly to us. We are also selling t-shirts! They are great shirts and when you buy a shirt the money gets donated to us. If you are interested in buying a t-shirt contact me or someone in my family. We really do appreciate all of you. Thank you for being a part of what God is doing in Africa.

God is working and I am so thrilled. Get excited with me. Partner with me and my family in this adventure in whatever way possible. There couldn't be a "Go" team without a "Stay" team praying and sending us out. Thank you SO much for your support.

Moldova Reflections

Have you ever had an experience that words could not express? An experience where feelings could not be relayed? That is exactly how my adventure was to Moldova. In reading this, I hope you at least get a glimpse of all that we saw and felt.

Upon leaving I prepared myself for the brokenness that had struck the land and wounded the people. I knew the poor conditions were beyond anything I had experienced. I was ready. At least, I thought I was. I did not have many expectations for this trip aside from the fact that I knew God was working and had plans bigger than we could imagine. He was going to provide opportunities for us to minister to woman and girls, to visit poor families, and speak in front of hundreds. God was going to change lives through us. I was sure of that. What I was not ready for was that He was going to change my life through them.

Yes, of course, God did provide opportunities above and beyond those that we had expected. He worked in the hearts of the pastors who graciously supported (that is unheard of in Moldova) the girl’s conferences our friends were holding where we (the four of us who went) spoke to hundreds of women and girls. They prayed for us before we came, prayed for everyone attending the conferences, and one of the pastors and his family even opened up their home for our group to stay in when we traveled to the South of Moldova. Unexpectedly our friend, the woman leading this group to Moldova, was asked to bring a message to a church we would visit. Women do not speak in the churches there – ever. God opened so many doors. All throughout the week we were given times to share with the girls and simply love them. We were able to visit an orphanage/school for children of all ages who experienced some kind of mental disability and see them in their classrooms so excited to learn. The opportunities that God gave us while we were there were more than we could expect especially because of the barrier between woman and ministry there.

The times I was overwhelmed the most though is when I would be sharing with people yet I would feel touched, changed, and blessed myself. So many times I would think, “I am here to touch the lives of these people yet they are touching mine.” My favorite time of the entire trip is when we visited a women’s shelter. We heard heart-breaking and devastating stories of the lives of these women but in return were able to encourage each of them; sometimes with a simple, few words or a promise from God’s word. It did not matter that we were only there for a couple of hours because we saw an obvious change in the eyes and hearts of these woman in that short time. I left that place overflowing with joy. The hospitality of the families there is another one of the things that blessed me the most. Throughout the week we visited different villages for girl’s small groups. We would meet in these girl’s homes – some of these girls walked forty-five minutes from another village in the snow, the dark, and the biting temperatures just because they were hungry for more of God – who eagerly waited for us to share with them. Every time we met in a home they would set out hot tea and cookies (something we ate too much of while we were there :)). This simple act showed their willingness to give even in their lack. We experienced this all throughout the week. They gave because they wanted to and not because they expected anything in return. At the end of the week when we traveled to the South for the last conference where we stayed in the home of the pastor we experienced so many unexpected blessings. It was below five degrees the whole weekend and we could not get warm. No matter how many layers we added to our already thick bundle of clothes the shivering did not go away and our freezing cold hands and feet remained. We prepared ourselves mentally that it would be freezing the rest of the weekend and the pastor’s home we were staying in would not be much different. Heat, indoor plumbing, and comfortable conditions are very rare in the homes there and we did not expect anything else in their home yet when we arrived in their home they led us to a perfectly prepared and heated room (using coal that meant they might not have heat for a week because they could not afford to buy more). They also cooked us dinner and to our pleasant surprise had indoor plumbing (meaning we could actually use a bathroom inside)!! There is no way to describe the excitement over that simple blessing. All of the harsh conditions I had prepared myself for did not even matter. God led us every step of the way and so many hearts were changed in Moldova, including mine.

There are no words to express how grateful I am for your support (no matter what that looked like). We could not have walked so smoothly through this adventure without all of the people who faithfully battled in prayer for us. This experience changed my life. I didn’t have culture shock to Moldova. God had a specific plan for me there and He had prepared me. But I did have culture shock to America. My mind wanted to conform everything I was seeing in America to fit to the culture of Moldova. My heart wanted so badly to have the joy and fulfillment of seeing hearts touched and lives changed every moment. The transition from my mission in Moldova to my mission back home (because I do believe He has a plan for me right where I am at) was a challenge. I am forever changed by the experience I had in Moldova and I know God forever changed so many people there too. I have learned that His plan for me here is just as important as it was there. Until my next adventure…

Called Out

I have been praying for opportunities for God to use me and an AMAZING opportunity has come about.

It has been an exciting season as God opens doors for me to minister to and love people. After the youth conference this summer, where we saw God work in wondrous ways, we believed that God had more. We knew that greater things were still yet to come. Ever since then I have been in prayer for what God has. Today we received a call from a close friend who shared an opportunity that is an answer to prayer for me.

I have been invited to go on a trip to Moldova, the hub of human trafficking in Eastern Europe, in January of 2012 with Your Kingdom Come Ministries and a small team to lead conferences, share messages about human trafficking, bless the people in the villages and love the children in the orphanages. We will be able to share with girls my age the value of beauty and who they are in Christ. Throughout the trip we will be meeting in small groups with these women and girls which we will bring together into two main conferences. One conference will be held in the North of Moldova. The other conference is a break through conference because they are just now allowing us into the South to minister and share with the people there.

My heart is for people. I desire to see them touched and transformed by the love of God. I want to see people’s lives changed and I want to be a part of that. God has shown me how to love the people that are right in front of me. He has shown me that what may seem little to me can make a big difference. I am so blessed to have this opportunity now to go out into the world and share His love with those who are broken, hurting, and lost.

The financial side of it looks big to me but it is nothing for my God. We received the call today (Friday) and I have three days to turn in $1200 (by Monday, October 24). The last $650 will be due at the beginning of December. I accepted this opportunity in faith because I know my God will provide. I am reminded of the verse in Romans 8 that says, “If our God is for us, who can be against us?” He is in this trip and He is the reason that I will be able to go and love on the people there.

Please be in prayer for me, the rest of the team, and the ministry. Pray for God’s protection on the trip and open hearts in all of the people there.

This really is an answer to prayer. My excitement for this opportunity and sense of God’s goodness continue to overwhelm me. God has indescribable plans and I am excited to witness it.

“The Spirit of the Lord GOD is upon Me, because the LORD has anointed Me to preach good tidings to the poor; He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to those who are bound.” - Isaiah 61:1