To Know and To Be Known

This morning I was thinking and praying and praying and thinking. Aware of the happenings all around me right now and the calling I feel so strongly on my life I can't help but be a little overwhelmed. Overwhelmed because I want to be obedient. I want to listen and respond. I want to fulfill that calling. All of those desires can become a burden. I try to figure it out and how I can make it happen on my own. 

I had been convicted by that. I was losing the purpose. The things and the stuff and the doing became more important than the being. In my conviction I knew my eyes and heart needed a shift. I needed to focus on the One who calls me rather than the calling itself. The more my life becomes about the calling and not my Creator, the more I will lose the purpose and passion. 

He has called me. He has given me promises. Above that, though, He gave me a clear and specific word as I walked into this season; he pointed me to a scripture that I was to live by. It says, "You shall hear a voice saying 'this is the way, walk in it.'" 

So I determined to only move at the sound of His voice. When He says move, I will move. And I won't move until I hear His voice. 

As I have walked that out the past few months He has taken me in and out of many experiences. It is not necessarily how I would have chosen to do it but I knew I was to be obedient. 

Now God has placed opportunities in my path. He has opened doors and allowed me to walk through them. They aren't paths that have every answer clearly laid out. They are adventures that require trust; that require me to remember that He is going to speak and make it clear to me what I am to do. He has promised a harvest. That is a BIG deal. I know the harvest is coming. I subconsciously try to make it come and think about what I can do to bring the harvest. I can't do anything though. I can only prepare. What He has promised, He will do.

Back to this morning... With those revelations from above I was thinking about how to walk that out. How to trust Him. How to "seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness" because in doing that "all these things" will be added to me. I know I don't have to worry about tomorrow. He holds my tomorrows. 

This morning in my heart I was reminded where my focus needs to move and where it needs to stay. When my gaze is set upon Him, everything else dims. The importance of it all fades because of who He is in my life. 

Then I heard this scripture... 

“Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. On that day many will say to me, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name?’ And then will I declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness.’" (Matthew 7:21-23)

I want to be known by Him. I don't want to be so consumed by the works that I miss Him. So I will choose to seek Him and not the doing. I want more of Him and His presence. I want Him to know me. He desires relationship and so do I. 

It is my desire to be so consumed with my Creator that the calling comes naturally. 

Parenting From A Child's Perspective

Last night we were sitting at the table playing a game when my sister, Ashtyn, told us about a conversation she had with a couple for whom she babysits. They always ask about ways she was raised, how my parents handled certain situations, and other questions pertaining to parenting, raising children, etc. One of their questions went something like this...

What did your parents instill in you that caused you to have a personal relationship with God?

Good question, right?

Is that something you have ever thought about? Maybe. I had never given it much thought. "That's how we were raised," would be my cop out answer. But what does that mean?

Her questions inspired me to think about how I was raised, how I got to where I am now, and actually see what it is that my parents did that encouraged us, challenged us, and shaped us into the people we are now. 

It isn't as easy as "1, 2, 3" or "A, B, C" but they have done and continue to do their best. They share their wisdom and don't pretend to have all of the answers. They point us to God because they know we have to learn to hear His voice on our own. I think that is key. They recognize that as our parents they are here to care for us, love us, and ultimately train us in the way we should go (Proverbs 22:6). They want to prepare us for whatever God might have for us, for wherever He might take us. If we were their robots we wouldn't be prepared for the "real world"... Or, what is more important, we wouldn't have learned to listen and be obedient to God's voice. 

I remember times when one of us kids would disagree with the way they thought about something or what they believed would be best. Sometimes they would ask us to trust them and we would have to. (I think that was key in learning to trust God even when things didn't make sense to us. Trust in God has been crucial especially in the last year of my life and I definitely attribute how easy it has come to the way I was raised). Not all times did they respond that way. Sometimes they would tell us to seek God about it. They said they would do the same. Either our heart would change about the matter, or theirs would. Through that we learned to seek Him, and find Him, and ultimately listen to Him. 

When our parents encouraged us to go to God, they were encouraging a personal relationship with Him. It wasn't all about us doing what they said all the time. 

They also led by example. Like I said, when they asked us to seek God about something, they would do the same. That was a part of their life. When they needed direction, they searched for Him. When they didn't know what to do, they asked Him. They are obedient to God and it has paid off. 

My parents are very different but they compliment each other. They bring different insight and are exactly who and what we needed as we grew (and continue to grow) into who God wants us to be.

My relationship with God is real and personal. I love Him more than anything in this world. I desire nothing more than to be loved by Him, love Him more, and fulfill the purpose that He has for my life. That desire is because of the relationship I have with God but without the seed my parents planted and cultivated I would not be where I am now.

I'm sure if you were to talk to them they would tell you they didn't do everything right and that you probably won't either; not to make you feel inadequate but for when you do mess up that you know it's okay. 

They're not perfect. I'm not perfect. Neither are you. Or your children. By the mercy of God, though, we have access to unending grace and forgiveness that allows us to try again... all the time. If I could encourage you in any way, I would say to look at the example of Jesus and live like Him. When you mess up, because you will, apologize, ask for more grace, and keep going. This could only lead to you truly looking and living more like Jesus. 

It's Almost Surreal

Finals Week. It's almost surreal. Have I really made it this far? Am I almost done with this whole semester of college? 

It truly marks an incredible accomplishment. Not only because of how many classes I took and how crazy my schedule seemed to be but because of that load plus every other memory and lesson that accompanied it. This semester held much more than 17 hours of classes and 8 hours/week of work. It was full of experiences and growth that could not have come without me being away at college. 

As hard as I worked in those classes and as many hours I spent studying, it would all be worthless if I learned no lessons of value in the end. If all of my working was to produce good grades and completed work, my time would be in vain. Yes, God calls us to "work at everything with all of our heart as working for the Lord and not for men", so I will put forth all of my effort in what He has placed in front of me, but He uses that to grow us not just for us to spend time chasing temporary goals. 

Each moment of my life should be open for God to work. My moments of feeling overwhelmed this semester just reminded me how much I needed God. They encouraged me to let go of control and let God take control. In each moment. In each day. When I allow Him to lead He can do greater things through me than if I am trying to control my life myself. 

God faithfully infused wisdom in me when I was lacking and filled me with His strength in my constant weakness. I knew, because of Him, I was not walking this journey alone. His presence stayed near and His love overwhelmed me. He reminded me of His promises and my purpose as I struggled to even find meaning in the day. 

Without Him, I am nothing. Without His constant nearness this semester, I would have been nothing. I, because of Him, was able to accomplish great things this semester. I will leave trusting that He fulfilled His purpose for me here. 

Leaving is bittersweet as this is an end of a season. As Thursday draws nearer the excitement grows as well as the sadness that comes with saying bye. After fully investing myself into this place, these people, and this time there is a connection that has been built.

Layne and Jelly have been faithful friends. Their encouragement this semester has meant the world to me. The times spent with Layne, Jelly, Caylie, and Grace have made my semester wonderful. The laughter we have experienced together is not something I will forget. Treslyn and Wicker are the best "hall-mates." Their door is always open and it is guaranteed to be a good time with them. Tres encouraged me and prayed for me as God guided me towards the end of this season and into the next and I appreciate her for caring SO much. I am thankful for these friendships. Even though a season ends I have learned that friendships don't always have to and these are friends that have a special place in my heart and have made this season a special one. I am so glad that some of these college friends are from DFW and I will still get to see them and see the others that come visit then see them again and all the others when I come back to visit (: 

I spent four months at this school here in Arkadelphia, Arkansas. They may as well have been the shortest yet longest four months I have ever experienced. The fact that it is only a few days from ending makes it seem like it went by so fast but looking back at all that has happened makes the months seem like years. Each moment and day and week and month was so full of life. I pray that a bit of the life of Jesus in me is left here at this place and with these people. It will all be worth it then.

"And in the end it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years."

Moving in Obedience

This post is a bit lengthy but fully expresses the happening's in my heart. So if you would like to get a glimpse into my life as of now, continue on...

I have learned that sometimes the season you are in may not look like it relates to the next. Sometimes the place God has called you to isn't always easy but in the end it will be worth it. Sometime that place He calls you to is just for a season.

That is what this past season of my life has been. The season known as college. The friendships have made it worth it and the lessons learned have caused great growth but my time here is coming to a close. A few questions and some realizations led to God gently moving me into a new adventure.

Why would I spend my time doing things I am not passionate about? Why would I waste my time fulfilling others dreams for me when God has placed dreams in my own heart to fulfill?

College is one of those places God took me to that did not play out as expected. The more I was here, the less I felt like this would ultimately fulfill God's purpose for me. This semester was still a part of God's plan. It was simply a step of obedience for me.

Remember to be obedient. Obedience led me into this season but it also carries me out of it. Through a series of events (a love for high school science, inspiration through teachers, friends and family, and the sheer motivation to accomplish something great) I came to Ouachita Baptist University with the goal of getting my Biology degree, attending medical school, and using the education to travel on medical missions. They were great plans and motivated me throughout the semester. By the strength of God and the motivation to reach those goals I neared the end of the semester.

With many more lessons learned than what I could take away from sitting hours in a classroom, I had started to question my future at OBU. Was this for me? Is this what I really want? Will I be fulfilled in staying here? More and more the answer seemed like an obvious "no."

The decision to come here was clear. The leading from God was like a stamp in my heart. But each moment here was really preparing me for a later moment that could potentially change the course of my life... If I let it.

After encouragement from many people I made it to Thanksgiving break. I could not have imagined the turn of events that led to such a big decision over break. After pondering the passions inside my heart and the thoughts that so constantly filled me, I made a decision - one that was marked by excitement for new adventure, fear of disappointment from others, pain of leaving friendships that had so quickly formed, but most of all a trust in God who knows me and my heart better than I know myself. I made the decision to leave Ouachita Baptist University.

God knew my passions would not be fulfilled here. He knew this was a part of His plan, but not in the way that I thought. Even though I am not leaving with a degree, I am taking away lessons far more valuable than what any degree could give me. I set out to accomplish something great and I did just that. I was obedient to what God called me to then and I will continue to do that now.

I look back and see how all along God was teaching me and preparing me for this. Leaving is a hard decision. There is a security in college that is not necessarily there now. No, college isn't easy, but it provided a plan for the next 3-10 years (seeing that the plan was to go to medical school). 

My future is a wide open slate. God can take me wherever and whenever. He is reminding me of passions deep in my heart and truly calling me to a life surrendered to Him. It isn't always easy. It isn't always comfortable. But there is so much joy and excitement in this new season. Even though I don't have the security of college and a career that generally comes after that I am reminded that "the safest place is in the middle of God's will." That is where I want to be and that is where I want to stay. 

Coming to school at OBU was a God plan. My heart would not have been as moldable nor surrendered if I had not been obedient to follow God into this season. He showed me how desperately I need Him and continually drew me into His presence. He was preparing me for a new season of trust and an even fuller reliance on Him. He stirred the passions inside of me as I became burnt out with what seemed a mundane cycle of classes and is, I believe, pushing me into using my gifts and passions for Him even more fully. 

I am thankful for where God has taken me, where He has placed me now, and where He is going to take me and use me in the future. 

As I walk into this season, I remember that His ways are higher than my ways. He has placed dreams in all of our hearts and we need to continue to dream big. Ultimately continue seeking Him and walk forward full in the passions he has placed in you. As we walk forward in obedience to Him He will direct every step! 

"A man's heart plans his way, but the Lord directs His steps."

Proverbs 16:9

And So It Begins...

I have spent one full week at college now. That sounds a little bit crazy but in my heart I know it is so right. I am where God wants me to be. This season of life is an exciting one. Scary at times because of the newness of this adventure. Sad and hard at times because I miss my mom and dad or my siblings or my friends. Or I simply miss home. It is a challenge to be in a new environment surrounded by fifteen hundred new people when you only really know two.

It was easy when I first arrived here to just want to go meet everyone and make a ton of friends. I didn't want to get a few weeks into school and not know anyone. It was a challenge the first few days. I barely knew anyone and didn't feel like I was really making any connections. I heard God speaking to me though and tried to be intentional about spending time with Him. I heard Him speak the verse Matthew 6:33 to me on multiple occasions and I only halfway listened. I continued spending time with Him, which I really needed - we all do, and trying to meet people and make friends... and even getting frustrated when I felt like so many people already had connected on the first day that I wasn't here. That trying and frustration cycle burns you out quickly.

Friday at noonday (a simple 15 minute bible study at noon every Monday, Wednesday, Friday) Karis, a very sweet girl I met this week and who leads noonday, was sharing something God had done in her over the summer. Short story, she got to the point that Jesus + nothing = everything. But what are we trying to replace that "nothing" with to be satisfied and say now that we have Jesus plus "fill in the blank" we have everything? Right in that moment God reminded me of Matthew 6:33. This is what He had been trying to tell me all along. I don't need anything but Him. To think I need so many friends and so many things to be comfortable here was the wrong perspective. Or to think that I needed to get those things in my own strength. This is what Matthew 6:33 says...

"But seek first His Kingdom and His righteousness and all these things will be given to you."

God just wants me to seek Him. He wants me to trust Him to bring the right people into my life.

So I went on the fall retreat last night and connected with a couple of girls I had met the first few days I was here. It wasn't something I had to try to make happen. It just happened. They have beautiful hearts and I am so thankful God connected me to them.

I know as I continue to seek Him and trust Him the plans that He has for me here will continue to unfold. I won't get burnt out and I will make friends :)

Take Me Deeper

This has been a long awaited post but I am finally getting around to playing catch up on sharing different things God has been showing me and what is going on in my life.

These past few months have been so full and extremely busy. The fall semester I spent quite a bit of time acclimating to my senior schedule and working out college details. Academically it has been a challenge which can be stressful at times. My time management skills have faltered a little. It is so abnormal and I am looking forward to overcoming that in the spring semester. I tried to blame it on senioritis but I don't need an excuse because that just causes my motivation to decrease even more.

Academics are important to me. God calls us to work at everything we do with all of our heart as if we were working for Him and not for men (Colossians 3:23). That inspires and encourages me. This semester (in my school struggles) all of it became so tedious and mundane. I became restless in my day to day living. Frustration slowly crept in as I sought the Lord in all areas of life but specifically in my academics. I desired to spend time in His presence but the overwhelming amount of school was a battle. I lived freely and fully and enjoyed life. I really did make wonderful memories but there was this unspoken frustration when it came to school and just important tasks I needed to get done.

I lacked motivation academically. The lack there came from the lack of excitement in a way spiritually. Yes, God is constantly teaching me and opening my eyes to a different perspective but I felt dry and needed refreshment. That is exactly how I felt academically.

At this time I became weaker. My strength drained even more. But His strength became more evident. In my weakness, His strength was greater. God was breaking me so that He could be my source of strength. He was taking me deeper.

These past few months that has been a constant process. My weakness has become more obvious but only so His strength could become mine (2 Corinthians 12:9-10) so that I could grow into a deeper level with Him. This past semester God used academics to reveal that. Even in school I cannot do it in my own strength. When I try to do even those little things on my own I become frustrated and drained. God created us to need Him and and I am learning that. If I am purposeful about my time with the Lord His strength will be mine in my weakness.

"But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you." -Matthew 6:33

Jesus is talking to the multitudes and previous to this verse he explains that if God takes care of the birds of the air how much more will He care for us? He encourages them to not worry about the daily things in life but be faithful in seeking the Lord first and everything else we need He will take care of.

That has been my motivation and what will carry me this semester. I am learning every day how refreshing the presence of God is and the strength I gain from Him. I look forward to this last semester of high school to live out all that God has taught me and is continuing to teach me. I will definitely need that as I continue into college and medical school especially. I love how He prepares us for all that He has for us. I see the preparation and am so thankful for God's personal relationship with us.

Refining Your Heart

"Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." -Psalm 37:4

What does it mean to "delight yourself in the Lord?" Because when you do that you will receive the desires of your heart. I wanted to discover what that meant. More importantly I wanted the desires in my heart to line up with the heart of God. I desired to discover His heart so that I could be who He made me to be.

So began the journey of seeking God's heart and His will. It really was simple... much more simple than we make it out to be. In this journey I asked God to humble my heart so that I would be open to His will in my life. I continually prayed that He would align my heart with His.

In this process I learned just what delighting myself in Him meant. Asking God to make His desires yours is delighting in Him. It is delighting in who He made you to be. As you continually allow the Lord to refine your heart you're delighting in Him. When you delight in Him you receive the desires of your heart. Because you have delighted in Him your desires are His desires. Ultimately you are walking out His will in your life because you are allowing His heart to reflect in yours.

We try so hard to do everything we can to please God or just to do the right things. We were never made to do. We were made to be. Be people who reflect the heart of God and bring glory to Him.

When we learn to just live in worship of Him and pray for His will in our lives we are learning to be who He made us to be.

This verse has become a daily reminder to humble myself before Him and ask that His will be done in my life. This verse has also brought me great comfort. It is easy to wonder if I am where He wants me; being the person He wants me to be. I trust, though, that if I am delighting myself in Him my life will be a reflection of the Hannah He wants me to be.

Called Out

I have been praying for opportunities for God to use me and an AMAZING opportunity has come about.

It has been an exciting season as God opens doors for me to minister to and love people. After the youth conference this summer, where we saw God work in wondrous ways, we believed that God had more. We knew that greater things were still yet to come. Ever since then I have been in prayer for what God has. Today we received a call from a close friend who shared an opportunity that is an answer to prayer for me.

I have been invited to go on a trip to Moldova, the hub of human trafficking in Eastern Europe, in January of 2012 with Your Kingdom Come Ministries and a small team to lead conferences, share messages about human trafficking, bless the people in the villages and love the children in the orphanages. We will be able to share with girls my age the value of beauty and who they are in Christ. Throughout the trip we will be meeting in small groups with these women and girls which we will bring together into two main conferences. One conference will be held in the North of Moldova. The other conference is a break through conference because they are just now allowing us into the South to minister and share with the people there.

My heart is for people. I desire to see them touched and transformed by the love of God. I want to see people’s lives changed and I want to be a part of that. God has shown me how to love the people that are right in front of me. He has shown me that what may seem little to me can make a big difference. I am so blessed to have this opportunity now to go out into the world and share His love with those who are broken, hurting, and lost.

The financial side of it looks big to me but it is nothing for my God. We received the call today (Friday) and I have three days to turn in $1200 (by Monday, October 24). The last $650 will be due at the beginning of December. I accepted this opportunity in faith because I know my God will provide. I am reminded of the verse in Romans 8 that says, “If our God is for us, who can be against us?” He is in this trip and He is the reason that I will be able to go and love on the people there.

Please be in prayer for me, the rest of the team, and the ministry. Pray for God’s protection on the trip and open hearts in all of the people there.

This really is an answer to prayer. My excitement for this opportunity and sense of God’s goodness continue to overwhelm me. God has indescribable plans and I am excited to witness it.

“The Spirit of the Lord GOD is upon Me, because the LORD has anointed Me to preach good tidings to the poor; He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to those who are bound.” - Isaiah 61:1

Worry

Worry. It is so easy to do. That natural tendency of an earthly minded person is to worry about everything. What am I going to do about this? How am I going to get all of this done? What is going to happen if...? We are trying to figure it all out. By worrying we take the authority out of God's hands and place control in ours. His Word says "to be anxious in nothing but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." We have to be willing to let go of control and place everything in God's hands. All of your worries will then be replaced with peace.

When we change to a Kingdom mindset our perspective starts to change and our lives are transformed.

But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.

Matthew 6:33-34

Jesus told us to seek first the Kingdom. Focus on God. Seek His righteousness. Then all these things will be added to you. What are all these things? In the previous verses Jesus talks about our food and our clothing and says "do not worry about your life." Our life. God will give us everything we need for life. Keep your focus on Him.

It does us no good to worry.

Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life?

Luke 12:25

Our lives don't improve. Our circumstances don't get better. Worry doesn't help anything. It will take a change in perspective but when we learn to focus on God and not our circumstances life will be so much richer.

On My Heart

This song, these words, connect with my heart so much. It's a wonderful song but it is so much more than that. It's what my heart cries out; what my heart sings. I tried to bold the parts that stick out to me but I couldn't. I would have bolded every, single word. So I did.

It's encouraging as I begin my search for colleges, what I will study, what I will do. My future. I'm in search of my future. God knows. He holds my future in His hands and all of me I give to Him.

Use me for You. Reveal Your plan. But in Your perfect timing. I lay me down. Because all I want is more of You. However that looks.

I speak all those words to God in complete surrender and heart abandoned. It's hard because I want to know. But easy because I know His plan is perfect. Even when I don't know what that looks like.

//Invading all my weakness

You wrapped me up in grace

The worst of me succeeded by the best of You

My heart is overtaken

My soul is overwhelmed

The worst of me succeeded by the best of You

My dreams have found their purpose

My future in Your hands

This life would have no meaning if it weren't for You

So I lay me down

For Kingdom come

Steal all that is within me

Cause all I want in this world is more of You

And the less of me it is You

Increasing as I fade away

Your light for all the world to see

God It is You who breaks the chains

It is You who lights the way

And everything I am cries out for You

Lord make my life transparent

Your life in mine displayed

And let every earthly glory

Go back to You//

(You, Hillsong Live)

Forever Reign

"The joy of God is your Strength."

Nehemiah 8:10

Nothing else. So I can always have strength.

"In Your presence there is fullness of joy."

Psalm 16:11

Get in His presence, feel His joy, and you will be strengthened.

It's a promise.

I can always have joy. Always.

Even when there is nothing good in me and my circumstances seem dim, He is good and He is still on the throne. He never changes based on my circumstances - why should I?

His strength is mine.

He is my source of life and joy.

And if He is my life source for all these things, I will always have them because He always does.

God started teaching this to me at camp through these two songs:

Rain Down:

My heart is dry, but still I'm singing!

Forever Reign:

You are joy, You are joy. You're the reason that I sing.

I didn't understand how I could still sing when I felt so dry, but I did. Then God continued to speak and revealed me to the reason that I sing. It has nothing to do with me or what I am feeling. It's all about Him and He always deserves to be praised. Therefore I can always sing. I can always be full of joy. Because He is the reason that I sing. And He is joy.

Stop Trying So Hard

That's what God was trying to tell me.

"Stop trying so hard and just be."

I found myself overwhelmed, frustrated, and confused after a few weeks of trying to figure out what God wanted me to do...what He wanted my life to look like... and what people I was supposed to be in relationship with.

Yet I don't ever remember reading in God's word a step by step plan for our life...what exactly we were supposed to do. I'm pretty sure He gave us free choice for a reason. He is not looking for robots, just relationships.

Galatians 5:13-14

"For you, brethren, have been called to liberty; only do not use liberty as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another. ¹⁴ For all the law is fulfilled in one word, even in this: You shall love your neighbor as yourself.”

He made us free. And He made us to love Him and to love others.

He didn't make us free so that we would live selfish, sinful lives. He made us free because He loved (loves) us just that much.

He lays out choices before us and says, "choose one, I'll bless it." Don't be afraid to make a choice because you're afraid of making a mistake. It's better to trust God, take a step of faith, and make a mistake because God's grace is sufficient and if you are letting God take control, He is responsible for the outcome (and I promise it will be a good one). But! If you are trying to make things work out in your strength, you are responsible for the outcome... and it will be messy.

So just try. Step out in faith and live for Him. Seek God with all of your heart and dive in. Don't stress over unnecessary things. It's not worth it. I've experienced it. But God broke past my box of thinking and once again amazed me with His revelation, love, and perfect timing. He has taught be how to just "be." I am learning how to be who He has created me to be... who He has called me to be... without being in control and without stressing/being nervous/anxious about every little step I am supposed to take.

Proverbs 16:9

A man’s heart plans his way,
But the LORD directs his steps.

An Eternal Perspective

We encounter many things that cause us to change the way we look at life. They challenge our perception of people, problems and situations.

It is easy to slip into a self pity mentality. I can subconsciously begin to list why I have it hard or why I don't have enough. Then I look at other people and realize how blessed I am. My problems and situations in comparison to their problems and situations seem so little. It's all about perspective.

I have had many encounters that have challenged my view of life in general. Then one day I had an encounter that gave me a completely new outlook on life. It shook my world and made me think about what really mattered.

Why are we here? When we pass away from earth where are we going? Is this (insert anything here) eternal? These may (or may not) seem like obvious questions but if we really lived with those questions in mind, I really believe we would act, talk, respond and live so much differently.

I know this may sound so simple but this is a situation I daily dealt with that I had to completely rethink...I share a room with my most amazing younger sister. We are complete opposites (I think God might be preparing me for marriage). Anyways, when I prefer for the room to be clean, she is perfectly fine with her "stuff" being strewn across the room (floor, dresser, bed, etc.). If I am sitting quietly reading a book, she is in her own world playing guitar and writing music. At one point I did not think she was the most amazing younger sister. I was easily irritated and annoyed with her disrespecting me (in reality I was the one not being respectful of her personality).

After years of being forced to share a room and sincerely asking God to renew my sister and I's relationship, I began to realize what mattered. In the long run, is it going to matter that my room was perfectly clean, or that I really cared for her and showed her that through having grace and ALWAYS choosing to love her?

Although my sister and I played together as little kids and enjoyed doing that, we did not choose to love when it was hard. God worked so much in our hearts, but we were willing and wanting. We still share a room and still get frustrated with each other but we understand each other more and continually ask God for grace. The relationship she and I have now is not something I would trade for anything. We talk about everything. We share the same friends. And we do most things together. She is so very special and I admire her for her carefree, easy-going, love-life yet passionate character.

This is what God used to teach me perspective. When I walk into my recently cleaned room to find a mess, He just has to ask me the question, "Is this eternal?" It has not changed the fact that I prefer my stuff to be organized and clean, but I have loosened up so much. It is not worth getting upset about or ruining a relationship.

This pertains to multiple situations in life. Everyday I have to ask myself "Is this eternal?" After answering that question , my whole view is changed. God has worked in my heart so much and taught me how to just love Him and love others.

I make mistakes, but God's grace still abounds. So next time something starts to irritate you, ask yourself "Is this eternal?" God will show the best way to handle it.

Luke 21:33

"Heaven and earth will pass away, but My words will by no means pass away."

The Importance of Trials

The past few months have been so full of trials. Along with those trials, growth has come. Life has been overwhelming at times but the joy of the Lord has truly been my strength. At first I was confused. I didn't understand why things were happening. I didn't get why I was having to go through the pain. It didn't make sense. God quickly began revealing Himself to me and showing me the importance of the trials.

Ephesians 6:12

"For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places."

We're in a constant battle. Our war is not in the physical. Any conflict or struggle is a fight in the spiritual. Our lives are a battle for the Kingdom of God. But we don't have to do the fight on our own. God is the ultimate Warrior and will carry us through every storm.

2 Corinthians 12:9-10

“'My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

In our weakness, He is made strong. Even when we can't take one more blow, He is right there to help us pick up our sword and continue to fight. And in the end the trial is going to be so worth it.

James 1:2-4

"My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing."

God has been teaching me to count it all joy in each trial and every season of my life. Even when I am faced with tribulation I am able to be full of joy and complete peace.

John 16:33

"These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.”

And this is a song that reflects the cries of my heart from this past season.

B

lessings by Laura Story

We pray for blessings

We pray for peace

Comfort for family, protection while we sleep

We pray for healing, for prosperity

We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering

All the while, You hear each spoken need

Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things

Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops

What if Your healing comes through tears

What if a thousand sleepless nights

Are what it takes to know You’re near

What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

We pray for wisdom

Your voice to hear

And we cry in anger when we cannot feel You near

We doubt Your goodness, we doubt Your love

As if every promise from Your Word is not enough

All the while, You hear each desperate plea

And long that we'd have faith to believe

Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops

What if Your healing comes through tears

What if a thousand sleepless nights

Are what it takes to know You’re near

And what if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

When friends betray us

When darkness seems to win

We know the pain reminds this heart

That this is not, this is not our home

Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops

What if Your healing comes through tears

And what if a thousand sleepless nights

Are what it takes to know You’re near

What if my greatest disappointments

Or the aching of this life

Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy

And what if trials of this life

The rain, the storms, the hardest nights

Are Your mercies in disguise

So this has pretty much been my life along with what God has used to encourage me in the past few months. It's been a trial, but it's been good. God is faithful.

From the Inside Out

I am called to act differently and to look different than the world. I am called to be set apart.

Romans 12:1-2

"I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service. And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God."

Life is not about me. My life is about making God famous. If I am concerned with my happiness and what others think of me, I am missing God's calling for my life. It shouldn't matter what I wear, how my hair looks, or my outside appearance. My focus should be to get closer to Him and learn more about my Savior.

1 Peter 3:3-4

"Do not let your adornment be merely outward—arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel - rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God."

My desire is to be so in love with my Jesus that my life reflects Him. I want my beauty to be from the inside out. Although this is so important for everyone, girls especially need to recognize that their true beauty can only be inner. It's all about the heart.

Matthew 12:34

"For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks."

He has called us to be a light in this dark world and impact others each day. We have to do that by allowing God to continuously refine our hearts. Then share with the people around us God's goodness.

Psalm 96:2

"Sing to the Lord; praise his name.

Each day proclaim the good news that he saves."

This is a simple yet crucial mandate. Every day we have to seek His heart and His will so that we can walk in His fullness and in doing so change the lives of others.

Spring Break: Days Three and Four

The last couple of days Ash, Ethan and I spent at the Tates. Now that they are in public school and we all have extremely busy lives we do not get to hang out as often. This week we took advantage of the break from school and spent a couple of days out there. One of our other friends, John, is here for a couple weeks staying with them so we were all able to spend some time together. It had been too long!

We always have something to do there wether it be jumping on the trampoline, playing games, dew pong, or practicing dancing (for prom). It's always nice to stay with the Tates for a couple of days...they're my family that I do not see often enough.

We stayed up until 5 am on Tuesday night/Wednesday morning just talking. We were dissecting different parts of the Bible and sharing what we got out of it. There was a long discussion about the end times...which always proves to be a thought provoking topic. I am so blessed to have friends that have a spiritual depth that challenges me. I am always up for a good conversation about God.

That is pretty much what has filled the past couple of days...I took a few pictures while we were there but I left my camera. :( Any pictures from this week will probably be up on Facebook eventually!

I hope you're having a splendid week!

Passion

I have shared this at worship night, but I have been wanting to express it in writing here too.

Passion is such an important part of who we are. We all have it deep within us. We just need to let it come out. During one of my late night talks with God I felt Him stirring in me the importance of passion. Without passion, life is dull and pointless. We have nothing to live for and no motivation to live for something significant.

Generally, when you are passionate about something you spend a lot of time thinking about it or doing something about it. For instance, someone who loves (or is passionate about) music will practice constantly and even be thinking about songs they can write/new music to learn as they go throughout their day. People invest time in what their passions.

What if we took passion to a whole new level? What about becoming completely passionate about God and making the same time for Him as we do for earthly fancies? God will transform your life. You will be so full of God that everything you do becomes about glorifying Him.

After we let ourselves become wholly His, He will use the desires and passions in our heart. The passion for music, baking, parenting, or any other desire in your heart (if pure) is from God. God has put those dreams in our heart and wants to use them, but we have to make it about Him first.

"When we are wholly His we will be more ourselves than ever."

~C.S Lewis

Once we have wholly submitted to His ways we will have the tools needed for the passions He has put in our heart.