Best friends, coffee shops, and heart to hearts.

Nights like these are treasured. I love our time and our adventures. Not much can compare to her heart, wisdom, and insight into the heart of Jesus.

"I Know I'm Who I Am Today..."

"So much of meIs made from what I learned from youYou'll be with meLike a handprint on my heartAnd now whatever way our stories endI know you have re-written mineBy being my friend...I know I'm who I am today because I knew you."

The truth this holds is painful but permanent. I have hope the end hasn't come but the waiting is hard. 

Thankful that God is our comfort through all seasons. 

It's Almost Surreal

Finals Week. It's almost surreal. Have I really made it this far? Am I almost done with this whole semester of college? 

It truly marks an incredible accomplishment. Not only because of how many classes I took and how crazy my schedule seemed to be but because of that load plus every other memory and lesson that accompanied it. This semester held much more than 17 hours of classes and 8 hours/week of work. It was full of experiences and growth that could not have come without me being away at college. 

As hard as I worked in those classes and as many hours I spent studying, it would all be worthless if I learned no lessons of value in the end. If all of my working was to produce good grades and completed work, my time would be in vain. Yes, God calls us to "work at everything with all of our heart as working for the Lord and not for men", so I will put forth all of my effort in what He has placed in front of me, but He uses that to grow us not just for us to spend time chasing temporary goals. 

Each moment of my life should be open for God to work. My moments of feeling overwhelmed this semester just reminded me how much I needed God. They encouraged me to let go of control and let God take control. In each moment. In each day. When I allow Him to lead He can do greater things through me than if I am trying to control my life myself. 

God faithfully infused wisdom in me when I was lacking and filled me with His strength in my constant weakness. I knew, because of Him, I was not walking this journey alone. His presence stayed near and His love overwhelmed me. He reminded me of His promises and my purpose as I struggled to even find meaning in the day. 

Without Him, I am nothing. Without His constant nearness this semester, I would have been nothing. I, because of Him, was able to accomplish great things this semester. I will leave trusting that He fulfilled His purpose for me here. 

Leaving is bittersweet as this is an end of a season. As Thursday draws nearer the excitement grows as well as the sadness that comes with saying bye. After fully investing myself into this place, these people, and this time there is a connection that has been built.

Layne and Jelly have been faithful friends. Their encouragement this semester has meant the world to me. The times spent with Layne, Jelly, Caylie, and Grace have made my semester wonderful. The laughter we have experienced together is not something I will forget. Treslyn and Wicker are the best "hall-mates." Their door is always open and it is guaranteed to be a good time with them. Tres encouraged me and prayed for me as God guided me towards the end of this season and into the next and I appreciate her for caring SO much. I am thankful for these friendships. Even though a season ends I have learned that friendships don't always have to and these are friends that have a special place in my heart and have made this season a special one. I am so glad that some of these college friends are from DFW and I will still get to see them and see the others that come visit then see them again and all the others when I come back to visit (: 

I spent four months at this school here in Arkadelphia, Arkansas. They may as well have been the shortest yet longest four months I have ever experienced. The fact that it is only a few days from ending makes it seem like it went by so fast but looking back at all that has happened makes the months seem like years. Each moment and day and week and month was so full of life. I pray that a bit of the life of Jesus in me is left here at this place and with these people. It will all be worth it then.

"And in the end it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years."

A Lovely Night

Being away from home is made so much easier when you have wonderful friends who live only an hour away from college that you can visit!

Right after I started college in August my friends from Georgia moved to Arkansas (much closer to me than any of my other family or friends). Because of my busy schedule and them trying to get settled last night was my first time to visit them but being in a home, around familiar faces, with home cooking made for a refreshing night.

I arrived in the afternoon and had time to talk with Morgan for a while plus hold sweet 7 month old Scarlett and play with 2 year old Silas before David got home for dinner. Being around little ones was so wonderful... something I miss terribly while being at school! 

Morgan made homemade soup and cornbread which was perfectly delicious. Because she knows how much I love to bake she let me make muffins. It was a little experiment since we didn't have any bananas or "normal additions" to add to the ingredients but Morgan had some canned apple butter so we decided to try that. It was definitely a success! 

After muffin making and dinner I stayed for a bit and just spent time with them. Morgan sent me home with leftover homemade soup and a bag full of the muffins we made. I know what I will be eating for some meals in the next week :)

Thank you Verdery's for a wonderful time and for the goodies!

Loving Fall and Giving Thanks

It was a beautiful Thanksgiving break spent with wonderful friends in Tennessee and special family in Alabama. A whole week off of school was amazing and I loved being with my family!

While in Tennessee we were sure to have a bonfire complete with smores! And not just regular smokes... but Reese's peanut butter cup smores. Your tastebuds will forever be changed!

A trip to Tennessee would not complete without a little tree climbin' and horse back ridin'. 

Of course a few pictures had to be taken (: 

Being around a little one made me so happy! Ben is a precious little boy and he constantly is full of joy. 

Family picture!

To end our time in Tennessee we relived a Target memory from two years ago from when we were in Alabama and our moms sat at Starbucks and talked forever so we made ourselves comfortable for a little while... So we decided we needed to take a similar picture!

The last few days of break were spent with family in Alabama. It was our traditional Alabama Thanksgiving full of lots of eating, dominoes, pecan pie, card games, and Big Bob Gibson's barbecue. This break was a perfect refresher to finish up the semester well! 

To Want vs. Need

What are your friendships build upon? Why do you choose to pursue friendships with certain people and what causes you to continue pursuing them? Or stop pursuing it? Is your friendship with others out of benefit for yourself or for the other person?

It is so easy as humans to want a friendship for what we can gain from it but not for the purpose of what we can give. We thrive when we gain attention or approval from others. So often we seek that which we can receive from people who just like us seek the approval too. We can really drain others by constantly pulling out of them especially when we are not pouring back in. Is that why that you choose to keep that relationship? Just for the benefit of yourself? Maybe you don't realize you are doing that. Think about the relationships you have in your life and the purpose of each of those. 

What do you give for yours friendship? How do you pour into relationships purely for the sake of the other person?

I have learned that at times I feel like I really need my friends. I need their encouragement and support. I also have a need to give that encouragement and support. But when the need is not there, do I still want them? Do I choose them aside from what they can give me? I know I can answer that question positively without a question. Yes, I want them. I am thankful that God has given them to me to help when a need is there but even if they could give me nothing I want their friendship. I desire relationship with them. But I am not dependent on them only for what they can give. 

Really, friendships are not where we should find our satisfaction. We are not complete because of them. We are complete because of God. Only God is consistently the one who can pour into you. You are not required to pour yourself back to Him but He will do greater things in and through You when you give yourself wholly to that relationship. It will be the most fulfilling relationship and fulfills where other friendships fail.

I'll leave you with this quote by CS Lewis, "Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art…It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that gives value to survival." 

Renember the One who satisfies and don't take for granted the blessing of friendship. 

Undeserved Blessings

After the first few days of being at school I met a couple of lovely ladies. I immediately loved them and wanted to know them better. The beginning of school I met so many people and I never knew who I would actually become close friends with or who I would actually talk to again. But when I met these girls I knew I couldn't let them go.

It was God who brought us together. So many times I have just sat here and been overwhelmed by His goodness for bringing them into my life. He knew before I came here that He was going to give them to me as friends. He knew we would connect and so quickly break past the surface level friendship to something real and deep.

I needed that. And God knew that even before I did.

I met Layne and Anjelica in Dr. Jack's Coffeehouse sitting in a little round booth. My plan was to study for a bit in the quiet and cozy atmosphere of a coffee shop. God had a different plan. He wanted to connect me with people who could easily become life long friends. After that I started spending more time with them along with Emily (who I met last October when I visited OBU for GROW). The first night of Refuge we all went together. Afterwards we talked about needing the encouragement and support of friends to continuously seek the Lord and spend time with Him. We mentioned starting a Bible study but didn't talk about details. As school progressed we all got busy and kind of had our own schedules. I am not in any classes with Layne or Anjelica and only one with Emily. How funny is that! That didn't keep us from eating lunch together, being together while avoiding homework :), or having our late night Jesus talks.

Two weeks later, after the next Refuge, us four talked until way too late. We shared with each other what God was doing in us and encouraged each other where encouragement was needed. Together we have become intentional about what we talk about and what we spend our time doing. Continuing our friendship in that way could go without saying but we wanted to be purposeful about meeting regularly to share what God is showing us or where we could be encouraged so we agreed to meet weekly. We are also studying the Bible together - starting with Galatians.

I study books of the Bible at a time on my own but it is exciting to read a chapter and see the different perspectives a group of four can have! Only God could have connected us and I am thankful and so blessed by the friends I have in them.

And So It Begins...

I have spent one full week at college now. That sounds a little bit crazy but in my heart I know it is so right. I am where God wants me to be. This season of life is an exciting one. Scary at times because of the newness of this adventure. Sad and hard at times because I miss my mom and dad or my siblings or my friends. Or I simply miss home. It is a challenge to be in a new environment surrounded by fifteen hundred new people when you only really know two.

It was easy when I first arrived here to just want to go meet everyone and make a ton of friends. I didn't want to get a few weeks into school and not know anyone. It was a challenge the first few days. I barely knew anyone and didn't feel like I was really making any connections. I heard God speaking to me though and tried to be intentional about spending time with Him. I heard Him speak the verse Matthew 6:33 to me on multiple occasions and I only halfway listened. I continued spending time with Him, which I really needed - we all do, and trying to meet people and make friends... and even getting frustrated when I felt like so many people already had connected on the first day that I wasn't here. That trying and frustration cycle burns you out quickly.

Friday at noonday (a simple 15 minute bible study at noon every Monday, Wednesday, Friday) Karis, a very sweet girl I met this week and who leads noonday, was sharing something God had done in her over the summer. Short story, she got to the point that Jesus + nothing = everything. But what are we trying to replace that "nothing" with to be satisfied and say now that we have Jesus plus "fill in the blank" we have everything? Right in that moment God reminded me of Matthew 6:33. This is what He had been trying to tell me all along. I don't need anything but Him. To think I need so many friends and so many things to be comfortable here was the wrong perspective. Or to think that I needed to get those things in my own strength. This is what Matthew 6:33 says...

"But seek first His Kingdom and His righteousness and all these things will be given to you."

God just wants me to seek Him. He wants me to trust Him to bring the right people into my life.

So I went on the fall retreat last night and connected with a couple of girls I had met the first few days I was here. It wasn't something I had to try to make happen. It just happened. They have beautiful hearts and I am so thankful God connected me to them.

I know as I continue to seek Him and trust Him the plans that He has for me here will continue to unfold. I won't get burnt out and I will make friends :)

My Today :)

Today was a lovely summer day complete with friends, family, fun, worship, and baking; my most favorite things!

It started out with a trip to Six Flags with my cousin, Hunter, Trent, Joel, and some of their friends. Six Flags is always fun. No matter how hot I love the thrill of the roller coasters and the talking time I get with friends.

When I got home I decided to be productive. I finished loan applications, job resumes and applications, and organized my pictures/files on my new computer!

I was going to write more graduation thank you notes but I ran out of stationary. I was going to the store to get more and had requests from Hunter and Avery for brownies with ice-cream and hot fudge. That sounded way more exciting so I went with it.

I came home (and happened to be alone) so I turned on my worship music and baked brownie for their delightful dessert.

Today was fun, productive, and full of things I love most! I like summer.

I try.

The summer sounds like the perfect time to do all of those things you have always wanted to do, right? I know that as school comes to an end I am making a list of what I plan to accomplish with the time I have all summer. Usually the summer goes by too fast or those plans just go unfinished.

This summer I am going to focus on what is most important to me and whatever else falls into place will be great :)

The big one this summer is to workout. I have often tried to run(or jog... or walk) consistently and right when I start to build up my side hurts and my lungs constrict.... so I give up. I never had the motivation to push through. I get too weak. I feel like I am going to collapse. I try. I really do.

Every time I go running I hear a voice (God's encouragement) in my head whispering, "don't push yourself too much. just do what you can." I want to get better though. So I push aside the voice and keep going. Run faster for longer. I end up just burning out though. Now that doesn't get me anywhere.

Here is to starting fresh.

The last time I went running (yesterday) I listened to His voice. I would push myself a little but not too much. When I was getting tired but knew I could do a little more I would just repeat "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength... Whatever I have, wherever I am I can make in through anything in the One who makes me who I am." (Philippians 4:13, NKJV and The Message).

I was able to run/walk off and on for 2.5 miles. I am pleased with that. I will improve but I will do it moderately. I am excited to see the change over the next few months.

Honestly, one of the things I am most excited about in college is having a fitness room. I cannot wait to have workout equipment at my disposal. I have friends I will be able to go running with too. This summer I am really motivated to workout more so it will be normal in college.

Aside from working out, I am going to work on my baking skills this summer. (Yeah, those don't sound like they go together do they? Oh well!) For Christmas, my parents gave me cake decorating tools. I would really like to put those to use and learn more! Hopefully that will happen!

The last, but most definitely not least, goal for this summer is to spend as much time with as many different people as possible. I have friends that I know are always there and if we have no other plans we all get together. This summer though I am going to be purposeful about making those friendships stronger and building friendships with those I never did. Leaving for college in just a few months is really what has pushed me to do this. People are important to me and I don't want to be forgotten nor do I want to forget them.

So, those are my summer goals. Hopefully I will have frequent and positive updates!

Compared to Eternity

I spent a few days in Georgia a couple weekends ago with many people I love dearly. I don't like living far away. Not that I would want to leave here to live there but I do wish they still lived here. I wish that I could just walk across the street to spend my afternoon with my sweet friend and her baby and hilarious husband. I wish that Grammy and Papa were there to have family dinners on a regular basis. I wish we all could be closer and I could spend my time more consistently with them.

While I was in Georgia though I had a change in perspective. My realization that eternity is much longer than the time we are here became a deep understanding. As much as I miss them and love being around them, all of the times I wish I could be with them does not even add up to the length of time I will actually get to be with them forever.

I still cannot understand why it happens that I become so close to people who either move or are not a part of my life anymore. I have experienced friendships being taken away. Very close friendships. I have felt deep pain from separation of ones I deeply love. But I have also experienced healing and comfort from a God who is more than enough.

While I am here these things might not make sense. I might not understand why my best friend can no longer be that for me or why a sweet baby would steal my heart then have to move hours away. I might not get why I have to feel the pain but I have hope in a God who will never leave me or forsake me. For now I will love with no regret because now is nothing compared to eternity.

Christmas Festivities

For years Ash and I have wanted to plan a Christmas dinner party. But more specifically a progressive dinner. At least ten New Years Eves ago my parents were a part of a traveling dinner party which sparked the interest in me. It is one of those things that gets talked about but never happens. This year I am set on doing things I have not done over the years to make the most of my last year in high school :) This party was one of them...

We started out with appetizers and mingling at the Sellars... Thank you Aunt Dana for opening up your beautiful home to us :)

We then drove across the street to the Pollocks to enjoy a few bites of salad before continuing onto the Harkins for a delectable main course including pasta and chicken with sauteed veggies plus Holiday Punch!

After a time of spontaneous worship, we left for the final house (our home) for desserts and games.

Altogether it was a lovely night. It was a refreshing night and a wonderful way to enjoy our break and this special season. The memories made so far have been amazing and I know there are so many more to come :)

{24 Days of Thanksgiving=Day 20}

Today I am thankful for friends coming to visit! We have so much fun with our friends from Tennessee and I love that they are spending the first part of their trip to Texas with us!

Lots of loud crazy games, loud laughter, and loud talking (did I mention loud?)! When we get together it is a blast! We all get along so well and I love that we can pick up right where we left off even after not seeing each other for so long. I'm praying that the time in between visits is not so long in the future!

Thank you for making our week wonderful, friends!

{24 Days of Thanksgiving=Day 7}

On Day 7 (and every other day of my life) I am thankful for the friendships God has placed in my life. There are special people He has put right in my path that have majorly impacted me. God brings people to me that are like minded and who encourage me in my walk with Christ. Like minded... Hard to find sometimes but cherished when discovered.

I cherish my friendships. I love the people I live life with who love Jesus and challenge me to be all that I am made to be.

"Friends come and friends go, but a true friend sticks by you like family."

-Proverbs 18:24

I am so blessed by friends who will stick by me through anything and are willing to talk or pray even until late hours of the night. I love my friends and am extra thankful for them today.

{24 Days of Thanksgiving=Days 4 and 5}

The past couple of days have kind of been a blur and I am having to convince myself that it is still the weekend. It is actually nice, and abnormal, to feel like the weekend has lasted forever! The recent events have prohibited sleep but adrenaline has kept me going.

Starting Thursday I was at the hospital with a friend who was having a baby. We were with her until Friday night when she brought her sweet miracle into this world. After 29 hours of labor she was exhausted yet so in love with her baby. It was so precious to watch my friends hold their little girl with such thankfulness. Brooklynn Elizabeth is a beautiful and healthy baby girl who is abundantly loved. Newborns are my favorite. They are perfect. She is so tiny and it is a blessing to be able to hold this little miracle in my arms. I am so happy for my friends and excited for the plans God has for them.

On this Friday I was thankful for the miracle of life (and continue to be). The new beginning of life and the birth of a baby is amazing to witness. I love the whole process from finding out she was having a baby to now and the future with this precious baby girl. Babies bring me so much joy and I am so thankful to be a part of the lives of so many.

In a way my "Day 4 Thankfulness" brings me to my "Day 5 Thankfulness". Today is my lovely friend's, Bethany, 16th birthday. Her life is a blessing to me. It is amazing how God knows not only what you need but who you need and when. This friendship blesses me more every day. She is the friend who can encourage you when you need it. She will laugh with you and cry with you. She inspires me in my walk with the Lord and I love living life with her. Happy birthday, Bethany. Thank you for being you and allowing me to be. I love you!

Prom 2011 :)

My friends and I at prom :)

John, Amanda, Trent, and I.

The "bodyguard" picture.

We were drinking 7-Up. I promise =)

The tons of people who all went in the limo together!

This was my first year to go to prom and it was much different than I had thought my first prom would be like. I figured I would be going with a bunch of friends to home school prom, but it turns out I went with a long time family friend, Trent, to his public school prom. I knew just a few people, met a lot of new people, and enjoyed the different scenery than I am used to =)

Spring Break: Day 8

The Zoo!

I have not been to the zoo in a long time! Sunday before school started back I went with Trent, John, and his sister's family to the zoo then on a mini train ride. It was a great way to end a fun week!

The animals are not only fun to look at but show God's amazing creativity and design. Every creature was uniquely created.

Matthew 6:26

Look at the birds, free and unfettered, not tied down to a job description, careless in the care of God. And you count far more to him than birds.

Such a good reminder!

Spring Break: Day 7

What did I do Saturday? It was such a full, busy week that I have to go over each day to remember what happened the next.

Oh yeah! Portia, Lexi, and Abby spent the night Friday night. Then we all went to Sonic to do a fundraiser for camp with a group of our other friends on Saturday. We have gathered over 30 of our friends to go to camp with us this year! It is so exciting to see God work in all of their lives, and I know God still has a lot more in store for this year.

The fundraiser was successful and we have two more scheduled...April 2 and May 14. So come support the youth on these next two Saturdays we are working!

2000 Central Drive, Bedford, TX 76021. :)

Saturday night after the fundraiser we relaxed at the Schuldts. I almost fell asleep after our long day at Sonic but we did get in a couple of random pool games and watched How To Train Your Dragon. =)

Spring Break: Day 6

Friday...well I babysat...for 8 hours. It was a long day, but at least I had a super sweet little 7 month old that I got to hold a lot.

After my weekly babysitting job, I had to go to practice for Pride and Prejudice. None of that changed over spring break.

Friday night a bunch of friends came over to our house. It was actually a relaxing night. We spent a lot of time outside at the park, a few of us played a card game, and lot of time just talked. We do that last one a lot...

I hope you had a wonderful Friday!

Spring Break: Day 5

Thursday of spring break Ash and I went to our "Awesome Eight" party. (6 friends, Ash, and I all try to plan a girl's night every once in a while) We spent the night talking, eating, talking some more, playing games.. then stayed up way too late.

A little adventure happened that night, but that is about all the detail I can give.

We had a lot of fun, and even though I had to go to an 8 hour babysitting job on 4 hours of sleep, it was worth it. =)