It's Almost Surreal

Finals Week. It's almost surreal. Have I really made it this far? Am I almost done with this whole semester of college? 

It truly marks an incredible accomplishment. Not only because of how many classes I took and how crazy my schedule seemed to be but because of that load plus every other memory and lesson that accompanied it. This semester held much more than 17 hours of classes and 8 hours/week of work. It was full of experiences and growth that could not have come without me being away at college. 

As hard as I worked in those classes and as many hours I spent studying, it would all be worthless if I learned no lessons of value in the end. If all of my working was to produce good grades and completed work, my time would be in vain. Yes, God calls us to "work at everything with all of our heart as working for the Lord and not for men", so I will put forth all of my effort in what He has placed in front of me, but He uses that to grow us not just for us to spend time chasing temporary goals. 

Each moment of my life should be open for God to work. My moments of feeling overwhelmed this semester just reminded me how much I needed God. They encouraged me to let go of control and let God take control. In each moment. In each day. When I allow Him to lead He can do greater things through me than if I am trying to control my life myself. 

God faithfully infused wisdom in me when I was lacking and filled me with His strength in my constant weakness. I knew, because of Him, I was not walking this journey alone. His presence stayed near and His love overwhelmed me. He reminded me of His promises and my purpose as I struggled to even find meaning in the day. 

Without Him, I am nothing. Without His constant nearness this semester, I would have been nothing. I, because of Him, was able to accomplish great things this semester. I will leave trusting that He fulfilled His purpose for me here. 

Leaving is bittersweet as this is an end of a season. As Thursday draws nearer the excitement grows as well as the sadness that comes with saying bye. After fully investing myself into this place, these people, and this time there is a connection that has been built.

Layne and Jelly have been faithful friends. Their encouragement this semester has meant the world to me. The times spent with Layne, Jelly, Caylie, and Grace have made my semester wonderful. The laughter we have experienced together is not something I will forget. Treslyn and Wicker are the best "hall-mates." Their door is always open and it is guaranteed to be a good time with them. Tres encouraged me and prayed for me as God guided me towards the end of this season and into the next and I appreciate her for caring SO much. I am thankful for these friendships. Even though a season ends I have learned that friendships don't always have to and these are friends that have a special place in my heart and have made this season a special one. I am so glad that some of these college friends are from DFW and I will still get to see them and see the others that come visit then see them again and all the others when I come back to visit (: 

I spent four months at this school here in Arkadelphia, Arkansas. They may as well have been the shortest yet longest four months I have ever experienced. The fact that it is only a few days from ending makes it seem like it went by so fast but looking back at all that has happened makes the months seem like years. Each moment and day and week and month was so full of life. I pray that a bit of the life of Jesus in me is left here at this place and with these people. It will all be worth it then.

"And in the end it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years."

A Few More Lasts

Tuesday was yet another "last" day - one that was full of accomplishments and victory. Today was probably one of the most relieving days of lasts. It has marked almost the halfway point of my last week of classes and I completed another set of classes!

Today I walked into my Wellness class, heard sweet Mrs. Sally Dann talk about how much she has loved having us this semester, received my final grade (an easy A), and walked out! Although I don't necessarily agree with *everything* she has said this semester regarding health and nutrition, I have enjoyed her class and still taken away great lessons. 

Guess what else I completed today?! CHEMISTRY LAB! That is one of the biggest reliefs of this week! That has been a tedious and time consuming lab. It is so wonderful to know I completed that whole semester of chemistry lab AND came out with an A! 

No more Tuesday classes for me! Just a few more days of classes and I will be on my way to finals!

My Last Monday

Today was my last Monday of classes. It is at that point in the semester when I say "Woah. It has already been that long?" It has been a challenging and busy semester but in retrospect it did pass quickly. 

Mondays were always my hardest days. I had class nonstop from eight o' clock in the morning until four o' clock in the afternoon, pre lab to do for Tuesday, and undoubtedly homework or studying to complete. That's just how Mondays were. The excitement for days like those was getting out of Monday lab early or rejoicing that Dr. Bradshaw didn't assign any chemistry homework. We learned to find happiness in those simple things. I feel like that should have the hashtag #sciencemajorproblems. 

Mondays were just full days and that is all there is to it! I always felt accomplished and successful after Monday classes were over and now I can feel even more fulfilled knowing that I completed a whole semester of Monday classes! 

Now, like every week, I have a drive to live this week well! I conquered Monday and can continue to do that throughout the week. Thankfully the rest of my days are not as full! 

Happy Monday, y'all!

Saturday at the Bluff

Saturday afternoon Layne, Anjelica and I spent a few hours on an adventure hiking through the woods and enjoying God's creation. After we finally found the correct path we just climbed some stairs (this was like a cliff) and walked along the side near the river until we came to the bluff, a beautiful opening between the trees looking out over the river (not to be confused with the other "bluff" we stopped at first). It was nice to spend time outdoors and have good conversation with two of my favorite people!

One of Those Days

Today was a rough day.

It started out great. All the little things were going right... My bed was actually made (since college that has been one of the things I neglect), I had taken time to look nice, and I was early to class.

It was awesome.

Just a few minutes after 8, when class was starting, my nose started bleeding. Great. So I rushed to the bathroom, stopped my nose bleed, and as quietly and gracefully as possible returned to my seat. I survived zoology as my professor sped through his lecture and I tried to retain the words that wanted to just fly over my head.

Next was Bible Survey. I should have studied before this class... nope didn't have time for that. Its not all that bad though and I seriously am thankful that I had that "break" because guess what's next...

Chemistry. I can promise you he was speaking another language. Today I seriously walked out of that class questioning my major. At that point I was overwhelmed with all of the information I had tried to retain and couldn't think straight. But alas I still had two more classes.

At 11 am I was walking into my fourth class of the day. It's just contemporary world; pretty much history but a lot of information. I was so overwhelmed at this point I wanted to cry. My mom had been sending me encouraging texts. That always helps me get through the day. But my dad and brother were also sending me texts and praying for me. I couldn't read them in class because when I tried, I started crying. Um... really?

I really was okay. I just miss them.

Lunch time. *sigh of relief* I grabbed an express meal stuck it in a paper sack and walked down the steps of the caf to head back to my room to take advantage of the hour I had until my 1 o'clock lab. All of my food fell out the bottom of the bag. At this point I was starting to feel like I was in a movie. These things only happen to the new kids on the first day of school... right? Obviously I was wrong. I quickly stuffed my lunch into my backpack and proceeded to my room.

Finally, I could take a deep breath. You would think the day would just all in all be a bad day after that but actually it wasn't! It actually got better.

1 pm lab comes. Our experiment had grown a plaque! (This probably means nothing to you). This was excellent though. And it gets better... Our lab is usually over at 4... we were done at 2!!!

I could've done a victory dance in the lab room. Instead I quickly made it back to my room and completed two hours of zoology. Not exactly fun but relieving. I completed all of my chemistry lab homework too. Double relieving.

Afte a nice dinner with Sarah and Ellen, I was determined to finish more homework. I studied more chemistry for about an hour then proceeded to complete an assignment. Well, the internet was being as slow as Christmas and a 20 minute assignment turned into almost two hours. That definitely was not the highlight of my day either. In the midst of this though I talked to Rachel for a bit. Phone calls from "home" or family make days like today a lot better.

I was ready to turn on a movie and relax when I just broke down. I missed home. I missed my family. I missed my friends. I miss what is so normal to me. I really miss this all of the time but normally I can continue while missing so much because I know I am right where I need to be. Tonight I just couldn't do it. I cried as I read messages from my family and dear friend, Bethany. Just talking to them helped. After I had released a bit of emotion, Emily walked into my room. She listened to me talk about how much I miss everyone then encouraged me and really just gave me what I needed to go on.

Now I am turning on that movie, eating peanut butter M&Ms, and not thinking about any of my classes. It's what tonight needs.

There is always something you can learn from days like today though. Every time I felt like I was at the end of my strength I could tell God was carrying me through. When I thought I couldn't do it anymore He provided a way out. He gave me a break, a chance to rest. 

Undeserved Blessings

After the first few days of being at school I met a couple of lovely ladies. I immediately loved them and wanted to know them better. The beginning of school I met so many people and I never knew who I would actually become close friends with or who I would actually talk to again. But when I met these girls I knew I couldn't let them go.

It was God who brought us together. So many times I have just sat here and been overwhelmed by His goodness for bringing them into my life. He knew before I came here that He was going to give them to me as friends. He knew we would connect and so quickly break past the surface level friendship to something real and deep.

I needed that. And God knew that even before I did.

I met Layne and Anjelica in Dr. Jack's Coffeehouse sitting in a little round booth. My plan was to study for a bit in the quiet and cozy atmosphere of a coffee shop. God had a different plan. He wanted to connect me with people who could easily become life long friends. After that I started spending more time with them along with Emily (who I met last October when I visited OBU for GROW). The first night of Refuge we all went together. Afterwards we talked about needing the encouragement and support of friends to continuously seek the Lord and spend time with Him. We mentioned starting a Bible study but didn't talk about details. As school progressed we all got busy and kind of had our own schedules. I am not in any classes with Layne or Anjelica and only one with Emily. How funny is that! That didn't keep us from eating lunch together, being together while avoiding homework :), or having our late night Jesus talks.

Two weeks later, after the next Refuge, us four talked until way too late. We shared with each other what God was doing in us and encouraged each other where encouragement was needed. Together we have become intentional about what we talk about and what we spend our time doing. Continuing our friendship in that way could go without saying but we wanted to be purposeful about meeting regularly to share what God is showing us or where we could be encouraged so we agreed to meet weekly. We are also studying the Bible together - starting with Galatians.

I study books of the Bible at a time on my own but it is exciting to read a chapter and see the different perspectives a group of four can have! Only God could have connected us and I am thankful and so blessed by the friends I have in them.

Study Buddies

All throughout high school I enjoyed having friends who were in my classes so we could do homework and study together. It is always more motivating to complete work with others than it is by yourself. Thankfully throughout high school I developed good study skills and learned techniques that worked best for me. Everyone has their own preferences but sometimes one person's way is helpful to another. By working with other people you learn new skills and can determine what works best for you.

Since I have come to college I have been connected with so many people. Some are in a lot of my classes and are great study buddies and some aren't in any of my classes but I love being with them and are just great friends.

Two of my friends, Emily and Lauren, have become great study friends. Lauren and I work well together to figure out problems and finish homework. All three of us though love to go sit in the coffeehouse and just review or study. Most of the time when all three of us study together we don't work together but it is one of those motivators to have people around that keeps you going!

Just a few techniques that work for me in studying/learning...

1) Skim the chapter/material

2) Go back through and read bold face and important details

3) Take notes on material or create notecards (sometimes both)

4) Study lectures, personal notes, and notecards

If you keep up with this, it works well! This way does not work if you are not doing homework in a spaced out amount of time. To really learn and study well you can't cram. All of the information you studied the night before the quiz will be gone the next night... I know because I have done it.

Continue to review previous notes as the weeks progress so when exams come the old information is still fresh! Review each other if you are working with friends. Talking out loud or hearing someone else repeat the information is helpful in learning too.

All of this to say, I am thankful for the different people God has connected me with in school. I am thankful for the teachers I had in high school and my parents who encouraged me to develop good study habits because I am definitely seeing the benefits through college!

I know it is only a few weeks into school but seeing all of this now will hopefully help me to stay on top of all of the work as the days turn into weeks and weeks turn into semesters and semesters into years!

College Classes

Classes started Wednesday! I have a packed schedule between classes and working in the alumni offices.

Monday through Thursday I am either in class or working from 8-4 and Friday from 8-2 besides my 12-1 lunch break. Plus Thursday nights I have a required Zoology peer instruction study group and at some point an extra weekly study session for Chemistry.

Plus I go to noonday every Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 12. I also go to Refuge on Thursday nights at 9.

That is just the planned part of my schedule. I am also getting involved with a community service group here and I will share more about that when I actually start.

Not to mention, all the homework... and studying... and extra lab time for my research lab...

It is going to be a busy semester but I am so excited to be learning and studying in school again. I really do love to learn especially when I am studying something, like science, that I am passionate about.

As the classes started and teachers talked about the difference in public school and college, I was so thankful for the way I was educated. I am thankful. I am thankful for my teachers, especially Mrs. Bare and Mrs. Minter, who I feel prepared me so well for learning in a college setting. They most definitely set me up for success!

Next week will be my first full week of classes and I am sure I will be able to tell what the rest of the semester will look like after a full schedule with homework and all of the above!

And So It Begins...

I have spent one full week at college now. That sounds a little bit crazy but in my heart I know it is so right. I am where God wants me to be. This season of life is an exciting one. Scary at times because of the newness of this adventure. Sad and hard at times because I miss my mom and dad or my siblings or my friends. Or I simply miss home. It is a challenge to be in a new environment surrounded by fifteen hundred new people when you only really know two.

It was easy when I first arrived here to just want to go meet everyone and make a ton of friends. I didn't want to get a few weeks into school and not know anyone. It was a challenge the first few days. I barely knew anyone and didn't feel like I was really making any connections. I heard God speaking to me though and tried to be intentional about spending time with Him. I heard Him speak the verse Matthew 6:33 to me on multiple occasions and I only halfway listened. I continued spending time with Him, which I really needed - we all do, and trying to meet people and make friends... and even getting frustrated when I felt like so many people already had connected on the first day that I wasn't here. That trying and frustration cycle burns you out quickly.

Friday at noonday (a simple 15 minute bible study at noon every Monday, Wednesday, Friday) Karis, a very sweet girl I met this week and who leads noonday, was sharing something God had done in her over the summer. Short story, she got to the point that Jesus + nothing = everything. But what are we trying to replace that "nothing" with to be satisfied and say now that we have Jesus plus "fill in the blank" we have everything? Right in that moment God reminded me of Matthew 6:33. This is what He had been trying to tell me all along. I don't need anything but Him. To think I need so many friends and so many things to be comfortable here was the wrong perspective. Or to think that I needed to get those things in my own strength. This is what Matthew 6:33 says...

"But seek first His Kingdom and His righteousness and all these things will be given to you."

God just wants me to seek Him. He wants me to trust Him to bring the right people into my life.

So I went on the fall retreat last night and connected with a couple of girls I had met the first few days I was here. It wasn't something I had to try to make happen. It just happened. They have beautiful hearts and I am so thankful God connected me to them.

I know as I continue to seek Him and trust Him the plans that He has for me here will continue to unfold. I won't get burnt out and I will make friends :)

{24 Days of Thanksgiving=Day 14}

Today has been a college day. My mom and I have spent lots of time emailing and talking to admissions counselors, registrars, and deans from Ouachita. I am signing up for my last semester at TCC (exciting!) for the spring and have been trying to iron out transferrable classes along with what I actually need. Tomorrow I will be registered for the spring semester at TCC then after that and a couple of summer classes I will be headed to Ouachita. :)

Every person we have talked to today has been so helpful. They are wonderful at responding to emails and clearly answering your questions. I love their willingness to serve and it makes me happy that I will be a part of such a wonderful school!

Scholarships!

Hey friends! I joined a site called "fastweb" that gives you opportunities to receive college scholarships through essays, applications, drawings, etc. There is an opportunity right now for a scholarship through a drawing. For each person who registers for Fastweb via my personal referral link, I will earn one entry into September's drawing.

If you are interested in earning scholarships for college sign up for fastweb though my personal link below:
http://www.fastweb.com/referral/hannahcarrigan

Thank you!

"You have been accepted..."

Those few words have never brought me so much excitement as they did this morning! I feel so much peace as I walk out God's plan for my life and know that He is directing every step.

I opened up a letter this morning that began, "Dear Hannah, Congratulations on your acceptance to Ouachita Baptist University!" I think I screamed. Or shouted for joy. Or jumped out of my chair. Actually, I think it was all three!

I have talked about OBU like I would be there next year. All along though something didn't feel complete. Until now. There are many forms to fill out, visits to be had, and just stuff to be done but it feels official.

I truly feel like I am standing on the edge of everything. God has so much more to come and He is continuing to reveal what that looks like. It won't be easy all the time and there will be bumps because we weren't promised easy. Just that He would never leave us or forsake us. So I step into this exciting time of life with an undefined expectancy and a trust in God that every step of the way He will be there to guide me.

I am so excited.

Life As A Senior

Where do I begin? A question I have asked myself a lot recently when people inquired after my life's adventures.

School. It is that time of year again. This year starting school carried a bit more excitement, mystery, and curiousness though. Monday was my last first day of school in high school. Next time I say "My first day of school is..." I will be treading on new grounds. For now though I am enjoying my senior year. My 12th grade year. My last year of high school. It is sad to think I will no longer be taking CAIA classes. My big and only adventure this year there is Physics. I was a little apprehensive beforehand but I enjoyed our first class. I am also taking three classes through TCC (two online and one on campus). Other than senior stuff and finishing a couple courses at home that is all my school encompasses. It is extremely light compared to my previous high school years but it leaves room for...

College Planning. I feel so proud yet old when I discuss college. It came so soon. I applied to Ouachita Baptist University a couple of weeks ago and am still in the application process (sending SAT scores, transcripts, etc.). I really believe that is where God has led me and is sending me next year. I still have questions unanswered but God tends to teach me patience through these big life decisions. Maybe I will know what my major is by the time I get there :) I get excited every time I receive a letter in the mail or talk to my admissions counselor. Everything about it is so God. I am thrilled for this next journey.

...and...

Working. I am not exactly sure what that looks like right now. I was offered a nanny job that just didn't work out but am still very interested in a part time nanny job. There are other options that I might could look into but nannying sounds the most exciting to me :)

Well, my life has been full of adventure. I like it. My Father has fulfilled many promises and reached down into my heart and made me alive. He is revealing my heart to me. I am enjoying the journey and truly learning that God knows my heart way better than I do. It is fun for Him to show it to me. He does it all in His perfect timing too. I am grateful for His timing even when I become impatient because in the end I know it will all be worth it. He is worth it all.