I did not know what that would like though. I did not know the full magnitude of all that meant. I do now. Not surprisingly God went above all that I could have imagined or hoped for.
The first day a few of my friends (Bethany, Jordan, Ashtyn, Grace, Macey and Nini) and I were sharing what was on our hearts and places where we wanted God to impact us. After hearing their hearts I was excited then to talk to them at the end of camp and see how God had touched them in those places.
But I didn't have to wait until the end of camp. After the first night of camp God had already worked. He filled places in my heart where I needed Him and brought an overwhelming peace. When we were all sharing that first day my prayer was for my future. I shared that I was looking forward to college but did not really have the excitement I wanted. I also didn't really have peace about what came after college at Ouachita. I was anxious (more than I thought) about where I would go to medical school, how long it was going to take me, and what life looked like after that. I didn't want to worry but I wondered.
So the first night Chris White shared a message about being counted in to the purposes of God for our life that helped me to surrender my future and my worries and encouraged me to trust God with my future. I definitely wanted to be one hundred percent counted into God's purposes in my life. The words that caused the surrender was when he said "You may not see the whole step but you have to have the faith for what part you see." Wait. I don't have to know what is after this step? I don't have to know the whole step to take it? Whew. At that point I didn't just know but I understood that I could surrender all of my future and that I didn't have to figure it out but I could just trust God for the now. That truth sunk deep into my heart and I let go of control.
Of course, God wasn't done. The next day my foot started hurting terribly. I didn't doubt that God was more than able to heal it. Immediately I prayed over my foot trusting for the pain to leave. It didn't. Okay, God, what are you doing? I asked Bethany to pray for it. She did multiple times. It would get better then get worse than it was before. I determined that would not keep me from worshipping fully and the enemy would not rob my joy. Tuesday night during worship I felt God say it was okay to just sit and rest my foot... I could still worship Him that way. So I went to the back of the room and just sat. I prayed and I worshipped. At some point I had a friend, John, come sit down and begin to pray for me. (Take note that I had not shared anything with him going on in my heart that week). He prayed for my future - he prayed against fear and for peace. At first I didn't fully know why he prayed that. I never felt like I feared the future. I just received the prayers though and kept worshipping. In breakout that night I asked everyone to pray for my foot. They did willingly. It was getting a little better but the pain was still there. Hunter took me out of the room just to remove me from any doubt that might be surrounding me. He spoke healing into my foot and all of the pain was gone. We thanked and praised God and all went back to our rooms. I walked into Ashtyn and Macey's room and immediately my foot gave out. What?? I determined to not let that discourage me. God had healed me and this pain was not from Him. Ashtyn was ready to pray for me again but Macey felt God speaking to her. She felt like this pain was more than just a physical problem but something going on spiritually. She asked if I had a fear of something. I thought about it and replied no because I couldn't think of anything. She then asked if I had a fear of moving away. I immediately broke down. I was crying for reasons I didn't know. There was a fear in my heart that I didn't realize was there. After Macey had the impression that it had something to do with fear she said that she was thinking about feet and what they did. Her thought was "well, they take us places" and that is why she asked about the fear of moving way because that is where I was "being taken" next. Ashtyn then shared the revelation that in Ephesians 6 when we put on the armor of God we are to put on the "shoes of peace." To me the opposite of feeling fear is to have peace. Wow, everything was connecting. Being the amazing friends they are they prayed for me and I let go. My foot, not coincidentally, started getting better too. The pain in my foot was connected to the fear I was holding onto and the lack of peace I was walking in.
Wow. That's all I could say. God was cleansing my heart and freeing me from so much and I loved it. That night I was thinking about all that God had done in my heart and remembered John praying against fear and for peace. That could only be God. He knew what was in my heart even when I didn't. Before I went to bed my foot was still hurting. Not terribly but the pain was evident. But it didn't bother me. I felt like the gradual healing in my foot related to the work God was completing in my heart. I felt Him say that when He had completed the work in my heart my foot would be healed. I could trust that.
So all of that happened on just Monday and Tuesday. Now Wednesday. That was a freeing day. What was spoken to me connected to everything else though was so perfect (of course). Hunter was praying for my foot again Wednesday morning. He felt that there was a spiritual battle going on for the healing in my body. As we all prayed the angels were fighting the demons (remember, "For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places." Ephesians 6:12). Everything made more and more sense as God continued to speak and we continued to pray. A few people had gathered around me and a girl I didn't know came up to pray for me (God had healed her foot that week). God gave her a picture of my foot and how His hands were molding my foot and just putting pieces back together that were out of place. God had given me that picture for the work He was doing in my heart that week. Perfect, again!
Thursday. Oh, Thursday. Could the week get any better? I guess so! During the morning service Timmy came up to me and shared a picture God gave him for me. Yes! I love words from God. The picture was of stepping stones. The further away the stones got the further a part from each other they got. The stones represented the next steps in my life and the growing space between each one represented the increase in faith God was giving me through each step. Oh my goodness. I was so overwhelmed. God knows exactly what I need to hear and He is SO faithful to share it. God already knows those next steps and He is going to give me the faith I need for each one! Timmy also felt like God was saying to me that "This is just the beginning of my life." No one could have known what that meant to me. In the worry of my future I was so concerned how long it would take me to get through college, medical school, internships, etc. I couldn't help but think how old I would be by the time all of that was done. It just seemed so far away and that my life would be so far along by then. It was such a big deal. But God says my life is just beginning!
God was continuing to bring me freedom. I was letting go of everything. The last morning session (Thursday morning) just sealed everything. Chris White spoke about "unleashing our destiny in the world" and I knew that for me that meant having the faith to take the step that I could see like he had spoke about on Monday night. I wanted to to be counted in completely and throughout the week God had freed me of everything to lead me to the place where that was possible.
The last session (Thursday night) was me walking and worshipping in that freedom. The Holy Spirit fell and filled the whole place. There was no need for everyone to go back to their seats and listen to a sermon. Worship continued as Travis Gay shared what God had placed on his heart. I was completely surrendered and had released myself to Him. That was the most beautiful release. I was overcome by the Holy Spirit that He controlled even my physical movements. I had the Holy Spirit jerks and an uncontrollable laughter. And guess what? All of the pain in my foot was completely gone. I was so full of the joy of the Lord.
I have never felt so free. I can't explain the excitement God has filled me with for my future and even for the unknown. This next season is going to be amazing. Walking in His freedom and His spirit is the most beautiful way of life. I will continue to choose His freedom and His gift of the Holy Spirit forever.
