This has been a long awaited post but I am finally getting around to playing catch up on sharing different things God has been showing me and what is going on in my life.
These past few months have been so full and extremely busy. The fall semester I spent quite a bit of time acclimating to my senior schedule and working out college details. Academically it has been a challenge which can be stressful at times. My time management skills have faltered a little. It is so abnormal and I am looking forward to overcoming that in the spring semester. I tried to blame it on senioritis but I don't need an excuse because that just causes my motivation to decrease even more.
Academics are important to me. God calls us to work at everything we do with all of our heart as if we were working for Him and not for men (Colossians 3:23). That inspires and encourages me. This semester (in my school struggles) all of it became so tedious and mundane. I became restless in my day to day living. Frustration slowly crept in as I sought the Lord in all areas of life but specifically in my academics. I desired to spend time in His presence but the overwhelming amount of school was a battle. I lived freely and fully and enjoyed life. I really did make wonderful memories but there was this unspoken frustration when it came to school and just important tasks I needed to get done.
I lacked motivation academically. The lack there came from the lack of excitement in a way spiritually. Yes, God is constantly teaching me and opening my eyes to a different perspective but I felt dry and needed refreshment. That is exactly how I felt academically.
At this time I became weaker. My strength drained even more. But His strength became more evident. In my weakness, His strength was greater. God was breaking me so that He could be my source of strength. He was taking me deeper.
These past few months that has been a constant process. My weakness has become more obvious but only so His strength could become mine (2 Corinthians 12:9-10) so that I could grow into a deeper level with Him. This past semester God used academics to reveal that. Even in school I cannot do it in my own strength. When I try to do even those little things on my own I become frustrated and drained. God created us to need Him and and I am learning that. If I am purposeful about my time with the Lord His strength will be mine in my weakness.
"But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you." -Matthew 6:33
Jesus is talking to the multitudes and previous to this verse he explains that if God takes care of the birds of the air how much more will He care for us? He encourages them to not worry about the daily things in life but be faithful in seeking the Lord first and everything else we need He will take care of.
That has been my motivation and what will carry me this semester. I am learning every day how refreshing the presence of God is and the strength I gain from Him. I look forward to this last semester of high school to live out all that God has taught me and is continuing to teach me. I will definitely need that as I continue into college and medical school especially. I love how He prepares us for all that He has for us. I see the preparation and am so thankful for God's personal relationship with us.
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