Showing posts with label seasons. Show all posts
Showing posts with label seasons. Show all posts
Wednesday, December 26, 2012
"I Know I'm Who I Am Today..."
"So much of meIs made from what I learned from youYou'll be with meLike a handprint on my heartAnd now whatever way our stories endI know you have re-written mineBy being my friend...I know I'm who I am today because I knew you."
The truth this holds is painful but permanent. I have hope the end hasn't come but the waiting is hard.
Thankful that God is our comfort through all seasons.
Monday, December 10, 2012
It's Almost Surreal
Finals Week. It's almost surreal. Have I really made it this far? Am I almost done with this whole semester of college?
It truly marks an incredible accomplishment. Not only because of how many classes I took and how crazy my schedule seemed to be but because of that load plus every other memory and lesson that accompanied it. This semester held much more than 17 hours of classes and 8 hours/week of work. It was full of experiences and growth that could not have come without me being away at college.
As hard as I worked in those classes and as many hours I spent studying, it would all be worthless if I learned no lessons of value in the end. If all of my working was to produce good grades and completed work, my time would be in vain. Yes, God calls us to "work at everything with all of our heart as working for the Lord and not for men", so I will put forth all of my effort in what He has placed in front of me, but He uses that to grow us not just for us to spend time chasing temporary goals.
Each moment of my life should be open for God to work. My moments of feeling overwhelmed this semester just reminded me how much I needed God. They encouraged me to let go of control and let God take control. In each moment. In each day. When I allow Him to lead He can do greater things through me than if I am trying to control my life myself.
God faithfully infused wisdom in me when I was lacking and filled me with His strength in my constant weakness. I knew, because of Him, I was not walking this journey alone. His presence stayed near and His love overwhelmed me. He reminded me of His promises and my purpose as I struggled to even find meaning in the day.
Without Him, I am nothing. Without His constant nearness this semester, I would have been nothing. I, because of Him, was able to accomplish great things this semester. I will leave trusting that He fulfilled His purpose for me here.
Leaving is bittersweet as this is an end of a season. As Thursday draws nearer the excitement grows as well as the sadness that comes with saying bye. After fully investing myself into this place, these people, and this time there is a connection that has been built.
Layne and Jelly have been faithful friends. Their encouragement this semester has meant the world to me. The times spent with Layne, Jelly, Caylie, and Grace have made my semester wonderful. The laughter we have experienced together is not something I will forget. Treslyn and Wicker are the best "hall-mates." Their door is always open and it is guaranteed to be a good time with them. Tres encouraged me and prayed for me as God guided me towards the end of this season and into the next and I appreciate her for caring SO much. I am thankful for these friendships. Even though a season ends I have learned that friendships don't always have to and these are friends that have a special place in my heart and have made this season a special one. I am so glad that some of these college friends are from DFW and I will still get to see them and see the others that come visit then see them again and all the others when I come back to visit (:
I spent four months at this school here in Arkadelphia, Arkansas. They may as well have been the shortest yet longest four months I have ever experienced. The fact that it is only a few days from ending makes it seem like it went by so fast but looking back at all that has happened makes the months seem like years. Each moment and day and week and month was so full of life. I pray that a bit of the life of Jesus in me is left here at this place and with these people. It will all be worth it then.
It truly marks an incredible accomplishment. Not only because of how many classes I took and how crazy my schedule seemed to be but because of that load plus every other memory and lesson that accompanied it. This semester held much more than 17 hours of classes and 8 hours/week of work. It was full of experiences and growth that could not have come without me being away at college.
As hard as I worked in those classes and as many hours I spent studying, it would all be worthless if I learned no lessons of value in the end. If all of my working was to produce good grades and completed work, my time would be in vain. Yes, God calls us to "work at everything with all of our heart as working for the Lord and not for men", so I will put forth all of my effort in what He has placed in front of me, but He uses that to grow us not just for us to spend time chasing temporary goals.
Each moment of my life should be open for God to work. My moments of feeling overwhelmed this semester just reminded me how much I needed God. They encouraged me to let go of control and let God take control. In each moment. In each day. When I allow Him to lead He can do greater things through me than if I am trying to control my life myself.
God faithfully infused wisdom in me when I was lacking and filled me with His strength in my constant weakness. I knew, because of Him, I was not walking this journey alone. His presence stayed near and His love overwhelmed me. He reminded me of His promises and my purpose as I struggled to even find meaning in the day.
Without Him, I am nothing. Without His constant nearness this semester, I would have been nothing. I, because of Him, was able to accomplish great things this semester. I will leave trusting that He fulfilled His purpose for me here.
Leaving is bittersweet as this is an end of a season. As Thursday draws nearer the excitement grows as well as the sadness that comes with saying bye. After fully investing myself into this place, these people, and this time there is a connection that has been built.
Layne and Jelly have been faithful friends. Their encouragement this semester has meant the world to me. The times spent with Layne, Jelly, Caylie, and Grace have made my semester wonderful. The laughter we have experienced together is not something I will forget. Treslyn and Wicker are the best "hall-mates." Their door is always open and it is guaranteed to be a good time with them. Tres encouraged me and prayed for me as God guided me towards the end of this season and into the next and I appreciate her for caring SO much. I am thankful for these friendships. Even though a season ends I have learned that friendships don't always have to and these are friends that have a special place in my heart and have made this season a special one. I am so glad that some of these college friends are from DFW and I will still get to see them and see the others that come visit then see them again and all the others when I come back to visit (:
I spent four months at this school here in Arkadelphia, Arkansas. They may as well have been the shortest yet longest four months I have ever experienced. The fact that it is only a few days from ending makes it seem like it went by so fast but looking back at all that has happened makes the months seem like years. Each moment and day and week and month was so full of life. I pray that a bit of the life of Jesus in me is left here at this place and with these people. It will all be worth it then.
"And in the end it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years."
Thursday, December 6, 2012
Moving in Obedience
This post is a bit lengthy but fully expresses the happening's in my heart. So if you would like to get a glimpse into my life as of now, continue on...
I have learned that sometimes the season you are in may not look like it relates to the next. Sometimes the place God has called you to isn't always easy but in the end it will be worth it. Sometime that place He calls you to is just for a season.
That is what this past season of my life has been. The season known as college. The friendships have made it worth it and the lessons learned have caused great growth but my time here is coming to a close. A few questions and some realizations led to God gently moving me into a new adventure.
Why would I spend my time doing things I am not passionate about? Why would I waste my time fulfilling others dreams for me when God has placed dreams in my own heart to fulfill?
College is one of those places God took me to that did not play out as expected. The more I was here, the less I felt like this would ultimately fulfill God's purpose for me. This semester was still a part of God's plan. It was simply a step of obedience for me.
Remember to be obedient. Obedience led me into this season but it also carries me out of it. Through a series of events (a love for high school science, inspiration through teachers, friends and family, and the sheer motivation to accomplish something great) I came to Ouachita Baptist University with the goal of getting my Biology degree, attending medical school, and using the education to travel on medical missions. They were great plans and motivated me throughout the semester. By the strength of God and the motivation to reach those goals I neared the end of the semester.
With many more lessons learned than what I could take away from sitting hours in a classroom, I had started to question my future at OBU. Was this for me? Is this what I really want? Will I be fulfilled in staying here? More and more the answer seemed like an obvious "no."
The decision to come here was clear. The leading from God was like a stamp in my heart. But each moment here was really preparing me for a later moment that could potentially change the course of my life... If I let it.
After encouragement from many people I made it to Thanksgiving break. I could not have imagined the turn of events that led to such a big decision over break. After pondering the passions inside my heart and the thoughts that so constantly filled me, I made a decision - one that was marked by excitement for new adventure, fear of disappointment from others, pain of leaving friendships that had so quickly formed, but most of all a trust in God who knows me and my heart better than I know myself. I made the decision to leave Ouachita Baptist University.
God knew my passions would not be fulfilled here. He knew this was a part of His plan, but not in the way that I thought. Even though I am not leaving with a degree, I am taking away lessons far more valuable than what any degree could give me. I set out to accomplish something great and I did just that. I was obedient to what God called me to then and I will continue to do that now.
I look back and see how all along God was teaching me and preparing me for this. Leaving is a hard decision. There is a security in college that is not necessarily there now. No, college isn't easy, but it provided a plan for the next 3-10 years (seeing that the plan was to go to medical school).
My future is a wide open slate. God can take me wherever and whenever. He is reminding me of passions deep in my heart and truly calling me to a life surrendered to Him. It isn't always easy. It isn't always comfortable. But there is so much joy and excitement in this new season. Even though I don't have the security of college and a career that generally comes after that I am reminded that "the safest place is in the middle of God's will." That is where I want to be and that is where I want to stay.
Coming to school at OBU was a God plan. My heart would not have been as moldable nor surrendered if I had not been obedient to follow God into this season. He showed me how desperately I need Him and continually drew me into His presence. He was preparing me for a new season of trust and an even fuller reliance on Him. He stirred the passions inside of me as I became burnt out with what seemed a mundane cycle of classes and is, I believe, pushing me into using my gifts and passions for Him even more fully.
I am thankful for where God has taken me, where He has placed me now, and where He is going to take me and use me in the future.
As I walk into this season, I remember that His ways are higher than my ways. He has placed dreams in all of our hearts and we need to continue to dream big. Ultimately continue seeking Him and walk forward full in the passions he has placed in you. As we walk forward in obedience to Him He will direct every step!
I have learned that sometimes the season you are in may not look like it relates to the next. Sometimes the place God has called you to isn't always easy but in the end it will be worth it. Sometime that place He calls you to is just for a season.
That is what this past season of my life has been. The season known as college. The friendships have made it worth it and the lessons learned have caused great growth but my time here is coming to a close. A few questions and some realizations led to God gently moving me into a new adventure.
Why would I spend my time doing things I am not passionate about? Why would I waste my time fulfilling others dreams for me when God has placed dreams in my own heart to fulfill?
College is one of those places God took me to that did not play out as expected. The more I was here, the less I felt like this would ultimately fulfill God's purpose for me. This semester was still a part of God's plan. It was simply a step of obedience for me.
Remember to be obedient. Obedience led me into this season but it also carries me out of it. Through a series of events (a love for high school science, inspiration through teachers, friends and family, and the sheer motivation to accomplish something great) I came to Ouachita Baptist University with the goal of getting my Biology degree, attending medical school, and using the education to travel on medical missions. They were great plans and motivated me throughout the semester. By the strength of God and the motivation to reach those goals I neared the end of the semester.
With many more lessons learned than what I could take away from sitting hours in a classroom, I had started to question my future at OBU. Was this for me? Is this what I really want? Will I be fulfilled in staying here? More and more the answer seemed like an obvious "no."
The decision to come here was clear. The leading from God was like a stamp in my heart. But each moment here was really preparing me for a later moment that could potentially change the course of my life... If I let it.
After encouragement from many people I made it to Thanksgiving break. I could not have imagined the turn of events that led to such a big decision over break. After pondering the passions inside my heart and the thoughts that so constantly filled me, I made a decision - one that was marked by excitement for new adventure, fear of disappointment from others, pain of leaving friendships that had so quickly formed, but most of all a trust in God who knows me and my heart better than I know myself. I made the decision to leave Ouachita Baptist University.
God knew my passions would not be fulfilled here. He knew this was a part of His plan, but not in the way that I thought. Even though I am not leaving with a degree, I am taking away lessons far more valuable than what any degree could give me. I set out to accomplish something great and I did just that. I was obedient to what God called me to then and I will continue to do that now.
I look back and see how all along God was teaching me and preparing me for this. Leaving is a hard decision. There is a security in college that is not necessarily there now. No, college isn't easy, but it provided a plan for the next 3-10 years (seeing that the plan was to go to medical school).
My future is a wide open slate. God can take me wherever and whenever. He is reminding me of passions deep in my heart and truly calling me to a life surrendered to Him. It isn't always easy. It isn't always comfortable. But there is so much joy and excitement in this new season. Even though I don't have the security of college and a career that generally comes after that I am reminded that "the safest place is in the middle of God's will." That is where I want to be and that is where I want to stay.
Coming to school at OBU was a God plan. My heart would not have been as moldable nor surrendered if I had not been obedient to follow God into this season. He showed me how desperately I need Him and continually drew me into His presence. He was preparing me for a new season of trust and an even fuller reliance on Him. He stirred the passions inside of me as I became burnt out with what seemed a mundane cycle of classes and is, I believe, pushing me into using my gifts and passions for Him even more fully.
I am thankful for where God has taken me, where He has placed me now, and where He is going to take me and use me in the future.
As I walk into this season, I remember that His ways are higher than my ways. He has placed dreams in all of our hearts and we need to continue to dream big. Ultimately continue seeking Him and walk forward full in the passions he has placed in you. As we walk forward in obedience to Him He will direct every step!
"A man's heart plans his way, but the Lord directs His steps."
Proverbs 16:9
Saturday, May 26, 2012
A New Season
How different my life is now than it was last year, or the year before, or five years before that. In this season of change and transition I can't help but relive the memories that are stored so deeply in my heart. I am amazed that life as I knew it then and as I expected it to be now appears so differently now that I have actually come to it.
There are things I have done that I didn't think I would have done by now. There are people who meant the world to me who were taken out of my life. There are also people who have come into my life and changed me for the better. All of it has happened for a reason. The past year of my life is a true testimony that God makes all things work together for good.
I couldn't imagine my friendships being different or my life being so changed but it did. I am thankful for the work God has done in me. It was not an easy but I had to choose to allow God to live in me and move in me even through the change.
As this new season of change is upon me, I fee more prepared. I am ready to let God take me where He wants and connect me with who He wants. It doesn't mean the life I know now is gone or the friendships I have now will be gone but there will be new life and new connections.
As I move into this new season I can trust through each step that my God will work all things together for good as I love Him and walk out His purpose in my life.
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
Compared to Eternity
I spent a few days in Georgia a couple weekends ago with many people I love dearly. I don't like living far away. Not that I would want to leave here to live there but I do wish they still lived here. I wish that I could just walk across the street to spend my afternoon with my sweet friend and her baby and hilarious husband. I wish that Grammy and Papa were there to have family dinners on a regular basis. I wish we all could be closer and I could spend my time more consistently with them.
While I was in Georgia though I had a change in perspective. My realization that eternity is much longer than the time we are here became a deep understanding. As much as I miss them and love being around them, all of the times I wish I could be with them does not even add up to the length of time I will actually get to be with them forever.
I still cannot understand why it happens that I become so close to people who either move or are not a part of my life anymore. I have experienced friendships being taken away. Very close friendships. I have felt deep pain from separation of ones I deeply love. But I have also experienced healing and comfort from a God who is more than enough.
While I am here these things might not make sense. I might not understand why my best friend can no longer be that for me or why a sweet baby would steal my heart then have to move hours away. I might not get why I have to feel the pain but I have hope in a God who will never leave me or forsake me. For now I will love with no regret because now is nothing compared to eternity.
Thursday, March 1, 2012
The Changing of Colors
Summer. Fall. Winter. Spring. From one season to another our surroundings change - Sunny and dry to chilly with falling leaves to a magical cold (with possible snow) then to sunshine and cool air until the cycle begins again. There is a constant change in our surroundings (especially in Texas :)) that produces growth and life.
We experience these seasons in life. Not only as characteristics of the weather but personally, in our hearts and minds and simply our journey through life.
Recently, along with this change in weather (which is delightful!), I have felt a shift in this season of life. The ending of the old and the beginning of the new. I like change. I get restless with a repetitive pattern of life. It could be easy to become too comfortable and I am not okay with that. Change inspires thought. It builds character and causes growth.
It is the simplest events of life that spark change - that mark a shift in seasons - a change of colors. As our latest show at school came to an end, my season of stage managing ended too. Immediately I was switching roles, auditioning for a show, and preparing for a new adventure. It amazes me how quickly change can occur and the effects that has on people. We have to allow the previous season to be a preparation for the next. Stop trying to hold yourself back when God has SO much more for you if you just let go. Remember the experiences but embrace what is now and what is coming. This show is a part of my last season of high school. It's exciting! No, it's not all easy but its fun! It's an adventure - those are never perfectly smooth. Enjoy this adventure. "It's simple - it's not easy, but it's worth it."
All this to say I am excited about this change in color and adventurous, refreshing, new season.
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