Moving in Obedience

This post is a bit lengthy but fully expresses the happening's in my heart. So if you would like to get a glimpse into my life as of now, continue on...

I have learned that sometimes the season you are in may not look like it relates to the next. Sometimes the place God has called you to isn't always easy but in the end it will be worth it. Sometime that place He calls you to is just for a season.

That is what this past season of my life has been. The season known as college. The friendships have made it worth it and the lessons learned have caused great growth but my time here is coming to a close. A few questions and some realizations led to God gently moving me into a new adventure.

Why would I spend my time doing things I am not passionate about? Why would I waste my time fulfilling others dreams for me when God has placed dreams in my own heart to fulfill?

College is one of those places God took me to that did not play out as expected. The more I was here, the less I felt like this would ultimately fulfill God's purpose for me. This semester was still a part of God's plan. It was simply a step of obedience for me.

Remember to be obedient. Obedience led me into this season but it also carries me out of it. Through a series of events (a love for high school science, inspiration through teachers, friends and family, and the sheer motivation to accomplish something great) I came to Ouachita Baptist University with the goal of getting my Biology degree, attending medical school, and using the education to travel on medical missions. They were great plans and motivated me throughout the semester. By the strength of God and the motivation to reach those goals I neared the end of the semester.

With many more lessons learned than what I could take away from sitting hours in a classroom, I had started to question my future at OBU. Was this for me? Is this what I really want? Will I be fulfilled in staying here? More and more the answer seemed like an obvious "no."

The decision to come here was clear. The leading from God was like a stamp in my heart. But each moment here was really preparing me for a later moment that could potentially change the course of my life... If I let it.

After encouragement from many people I made it to Thanksgiving break. I could not have imagined the turn of events that led to such a big decision over break. After pondering the passions inside my heart and the thoughts that so constantly filled me, I made a decision - one that was marked by excitement for new adventure, fear of disappointment from others, pain of leaving friendships that had so quickly formed, but most of all a trust in God who knows me and my heart better than I know myself. I made the decision to leave Ouachita Baptist University.

God knew my passions would not be fulfilled here. He knew this was a part of His plan, but not in the way that I thought. Even though I am not leaving with a degree, I am taking away lessons far more valuable than what any degree could give me. I set out to accomplish something great and I did just that. I was obedient to what God called me to then and I will continue to do that now.

I look back and see how all along God was teaching me and preparing me for this. Leaving is a hard decision. There is a security in college that is not necessarily there now. No, college isn't easy, but it provided a plan for the next 3-10 years (seeing that the plan was to go to medical school). 

My future is a wide open slate. God can take me wherever and whenever. He is reminding me of passions deep in my heart and truly calling me to a life surrendered to Him. It isn't always easy. It isn't always comfortable. But there is so much joy and excitement in this new season. Even though I don't have the security of college and a career that generally comes after that I am reminded that "the safest place is in the middle of God's will." That is where I want to be and that is where I want to stay. 

Coming to school at OBU was a God plan. My heart would not have been as moldable nor surrendered if I had not been obedient to follow God into this season. He showed me how desperately I need Him and continually drew me into His presence. He was preparing me for a new season of trust and an even fuller reliance on Him. He stirred the passions inside of me as I became burnt out with what seemed a mundane cycle of classes and is, I believe, pushing me into using my gifts and passions for Him even more fully. 

I am thankful for where God has taken me, where He has placed me now, and where He is going to take me and use me in the future. 

As I walk into this season, I remember that His ways are higher than my ways. He has placed dreams in all of our hearts and we need to continue to dream big. Ultimately continue seeking Him and walk forward full in the passions he has placed in you. As we walk forward in obedience to Him He will direct every step! 

"A man's heart plans his way, but the Lord directs His steps."

Proverbs 16:9

Embracing Change

Change.

I like change because I enjoy adventure and I embrace new.

I don't like change because adapting is hard.

Because emotions run wild.

I don't like change because it is not comfortable.

But I like uncomfortable because it means change.

Because uncomfortable means non-complacent

and non-complacent is a good thing.

It sounds all backwards right?

Sometimes what your heart desires is not comfortable.

Sometime the process of change (which will always be happening) proves challenging.

God has used change to draw me closer to Him.

Change reminds me of my purpose

and renews my passion.

Without change, complacency is almost inevitable.

Settling into that comfortable lifestyle is just going to happen.

It doesn't mean your whole world has to change

but sometimes it does.

Embrace change.

Live with renewed passion.

Pursue Him.

A New Season

How different my life is now than it was last year, or the year before, or five years before that. In this season of change and transition I can't help but relive the memories that are stored so deeply in my heart. I am amazed that life as I knew it then and as I expected it to be now appears so differently now that I have actually come to it.

There are things I have done that I didn't think I would have done by now. There are people who meant the world to me who were taken out of my life. There are also people who have come into my life and changed me for the better. All of it has happened for a reason. The past year of my life is a true testimony that God makes all things work together for good.

I couldn't imagine my friendships being different or my life being so changed but it did. I am thankful for the work God has done in me. It was not an easy but I had to choose to allow God to live in me and move in me even through the change.

As this new season of change is upon me, I fee more prepared. I am ready to let God take me where He wants and connect me with who He wants. It doesn't mean the life I know now is gone or the friendships I have now will be gone but there will be new life and new connections.

As I move into this new season I can trust through each step that my God will work all things together for good as I love Him and walk out His purpose in my life.

SO much change.

Change is inevitable. I am learning that more now than ever.

I felt like I would never get older, like graduation and college would never come. Now it is though and I can't stop it.

I felt like I would be ten forever and none of my siblings would ever leave and all of my friends would always be there. That is just how time moved then. It was slow. Now I am graduating, moving to another state, and turning eighteen all within a few months. Not to mention I have a sister who lives in California who has been married for three years and now a brother moving to New Orleans. When did that happen?

Literally every day goes by faster. Those days become weeks which turn into months and eventually into years. That is how fast it all seems now. I remember last summer like it was yesterday. The beginning of my fall semester could be last night and the beginning of this semester might as well be this morning. Now it is the afternoon and I am finishing high school.

I still anticipate graduation. I am beyond excited for that monumental moment when I walk across the stage and receive my diploma marking the end of one wonderful season and the beginning of another. Still I am a little nervous. A little sad. I don't want to leave this life behind and make a new one. I'll carry it with me as much as I can but the change that comes with growing up is inevitable.

No, I won't see my people every day or be a part of the every day life that goes on here. I will be making a new life 5 hours way with new friends. That cannot be helped. But I will do my best to stay connected. I will try to hold on to everyone that means the most to me. I can only do so much though and in the rest I will trust. I will trust that God's plans are better than my own. I will trust that He will comfort me when I can't help but miss all of home. I will trust that the bond I have with people here will not be easily broken.

I look forward to the adventures that are ahead. I will embrace all that God has for me right now and make the most of every moment I have. I will embrace change and love life. There is really so much that has come from the change in my life, good things. I know that will be true as the years continue and more of God's plan for my life unfolds.

The Changing of Colors

Summer. Fall. Winter. Spring. From one season to another our surroundings change - Sunny and dry to chilly with falling leaves to a magical cold (with possible snow) then to sunshine and cool air until the cycle begins again. There is a constant change in our surroundings (especially in Texas :)) that produces growth and life.

We experience these seasons in life. Not only as characteristics of the weather but personally, in our hearts and minds and simply our journey through life.

Recently, along with this change in weather (which is delightful!), I have felt a shift in this season of life. The ending of the old and the beginning of the new. I like change. I get restless with a repetitive pattern of life. It could be easy to become too comfortable and I am not okay with that. Change inspires thought. It builds character and causes growth.

It is the simplest events of life that spark change - that mark a shift in seasons - a change of colors. As our latest show at school came to an end, my season of stage managing ended too. Immediately I was switching roles, auditioning for a show, and preparing for a new adventure. It amazes me how quickly change can occur and the effects that has on people. We have to allow the previous season to be a preparation for the next. Stop trying to hold yourself back when God has SO much more for you if you just let go. Remember the experiences but embrace what is now and what is coming. This show is a part of my last season of high school. It's exciting! No, it's not all easy but its fun! It's an adventure - those are never perfectly smooth. Enjoy this adventure. "It's simple - it's not easy, but it's worth it."

All this to say I am excited about this change in color and adventurous, refreshing, new season.