Follow My New Adventures....

My life has taken a turn to be seriously counted in to what God has for me. I am only moving when He says move and only going where He calls me. I want to purposefully live surrendered to God and His plans for me.

I've loved sharing what God is doing in me and through me here but what I am doing now is flowing straight out of being 100% counted into the purposes of God and where God is taking me as I choose Him. 

So for now my life happening's and God's happenings in my life will be shared here!  

You can also follow this link...

http://hannahcarrigan.wordpress.com

Success

"To laugh often and love much

To win the respect of intelligent people

and the affection of children

To earn the appreciation of honest critics

endure the betrayal of false friends

To appreciate beauty

To find the best in others

To leave the world a bit better

whether by a healthy child,

a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition

To know even one life has breathed easier

because you have lived.

This is to have succeeded."

Get Up

Sometimes I get tired. Sometimes I am confused. Sometimes I feel like I cannot see what is in front of me. Sometimes I am just completely overwhelmed with life.

I've realized those are just feelings - feelings that pile up - feelings that if not put in the right place become what lead you. 

There is little consistency in my life right now. I am not in school. I am not working a normal job. I don't have anything that is weekly scheduled. I do work, but it is random. I have plans, but they are occasional. The people in my life are all at a different place than I am so what I really feel is loneliness - because of the inconsistency, and the lack of schedule, and the road I walk alone. 

There is no self pity in this place. I think I asked for it, honestly. I prayed that He would use me for something great - that my life would glorify Him. I asked for God to "lead me where my trust is without borders." I still desire that. It has just been hard - lots of lonely roads and trials without explanation. It is just where I am. 

God opens doors and He speaks. That is consistent. He is always there. 

So you know God has called you. You know He has a plan. When you question it and when it gets rough, get up. Don't lay there thinking about how tired you are, how foggy your mind and your heart are, or how you have no idea what the next thing will look like. Your mind will become more foggy. Take captive your thoughts.

Keep going. Keep trusting. Take a walk. Drink a glass of water. Eat fruit. (I was trying to get practical. I promise it helps.) The point is do something that makes you feel better. 

It will get better. I'm saying this for me and for you. 

To Know and To Be Known

This morning I was thinking and praying and praying and thinking. Aware of the happenings all around me right now and the calling I feel so strongly on my life I can't help but be a little overwhelmed. Overwhelmed because I want to be obedient. I want to listen and respond. I want to fulfill that calling. All of those desires can become a burden. I try to figure it out and how I can make it happen on my own. 

I had been convicted by that. I was losing the purpose. The things and the stuff and the doing became more important than the being. In my conviction I knew my eyes and heart needed a shift. I needed to focus on the One who calls me rather than the calling itself. The more my life becomes about the calling and not my Creator, the more I will lose the purpose and passion. 

He has called me. He has given me promises. Above that, though, He gave me a clear and specific word as I walked into this season; he pointed me to a scripture that I was to live by. It says, "You shall hear a voice saying 'this is the way, walk in it.'" 

So I determined to only move at the sound of His voice. When He says move, I will move. And I won't move until I hear His voice. 

As I have walked that out the past few months He has taken me in and out of many experiences. It is not necessarily how I would have chosen to do it but I knew I was to be obedient. 

Now God has placed opportunities in my path. He has opened doors and allowed me to walk through them. They aren't paths that have every answer clearly laid out. They are adventures that require trust; that require me to remember that He is going to speak and make it clear to me what I am to do. He has promised a harvest. That is a BIG deal. I know the harvest is coming. I subconsciously try to make it come and think about what I can do to bring the harvest. I can't do anything though. I can only prepare. What He has promised, He will do.

Back to this morning... With those revelations from above I was thinking about how to walk that out. How to trust Him. How to "seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness" because in doing that "all these things" will be added to me. I know I don't have to worry about tomorrow. He holds my tomorrows. 

This morning in my heart I was reminded where my focus needs to move and where it needs to stay. When my gaze is set upon Him, everything else dims. The importance of it all fades because of who He is in my life. 

Then I heard this scripture... 

“Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. On that day many will say to me, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name?’ And then will I declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness.’" (Matthew 7:21-23)

I want to be known by Him. I don't want to be so consumed by the works that I miss Him. So I will choose to seek Him and not the doing. I want more of Him and His presence. I want Him to know me. He desires relationship and so do I. 

It is my desire to be so consumed with my Creator that the calling comes naturally. 

Where He Is Taking Me Now

A new adventure is ahead of me so I guess it's about time I get on here and update again. The past couple of months have been a transition time for me. Even while it has felt inconsistent there has been a purpose to all that I have done. Now, though, I'm moving into more of the calling that connects so perfectly to my heart and ignites my passion even more.

My heart is for people. I want to love people, help people, and serve people. That is how I want to spend my life. When an opportunity comes your way that aligns so close with those desires how can you not take it? 

My good friends, Chris and Amber White, started Count Me In over five years ago. Their ministry is directed towards the next generation; they want to raise up leaders and empower young people to operate in the gifts God has placed in them. Because of that they started putting on a youth camp in Kenya, Africa. Each year it grew and more of the country was impacted. God has expanded their ministry through people in Kenya who caught the vision and wanted to run with it. God also opened the doors for them to open up a youth conference in the USA. Their heart is larger than where they have been able to impact but as God opens doors and brings provision they will be able to fully walk out what God has put in their heart. 

Last summer I participated in the USA youth conference. A couple of months later in August I was a part of the team to go to Kenya for two weeks of ministry on the streets, in the orphanages, and with the youth from all over the country. My heart was changed and captured. As the months have passed I have been able to see more and more into the heart behind Count Me In. It isn't just about a camp or a mission trip to Africa. They love people. They want to see people come off the streets. They want to share hope. 

That is where my heart is. I want to be a part of making a lasting change. Count Me In is an avenue that God has provided for me to do that. 

I am now an intern with Chris and Amber at Count Me In and I couldn't be more excited for the journey ahead. I do not know exactly what it will look like but I do know their hearts are for more of Jesus and I couldn't think of anyone I would rather partner with to be His hands and feet.

This is a journey that I've been anticipating for a while. Being a part of an internship like this does mean raising support for myself. I will be able to share my story and give others the opportunity to partner with me as I partner with Count Me In. I am excited to see how God works and provides for this season of my life.

Parenting From A Child's Perspective

Last night we were sitting at the table playing a game when my sister, Ashtyn, told us about a conversation she had with a couple for whom she babysits. They always ask about ways she was raised, how my parents handled certain situations, and other questions pertaining to parenting, raising children, etc. One of their questions went something like this...

What did your parents instill in you that caused you to have a personal relationship with God?

Good question, right?

Is that something you have ever thought about? Maybe. I had never given it much thought. "That's how we were raised," would be my cop out answer. But what does that mean?

Her questions inspired me to think about how I was raised, how I got to where I am now, and actually see what it is that my parents did that encouraged us, challenged us, and shaped us into the people we are now. 

It isn't as easy as "1, 2, 3" or "A, B, C" but they have done and continue to do their best. They share their wisdom and don't pretend to have all of the answers. They point us to God because they know we have to learn to hear His voice on our own. I think that is key. They recognize that as our parents they are here to care for us, love us, and ultimately train us in the way we should go (Proverbs 22:6). They want to prepare us for whatever God might have for us, for wherever He might take us. If we were their robots we wouldn't be prepared for the "real world"... Or, what is more important, we wouldn't have learned to listen and be obedient to God's voice. 

I remember times when one of us kids would disagree with the way they thought about something or what they believed would be best. Sometimes they would ask us to trust them and we would have to. (I think that was key in learning to trust God even when things didn't make sense to us. Trust in God has been crucial especially in the last year of my life and I definitely attribute how easy it has come to the way I was raised). Not all times did they respond that way. Sometimes they would tell us to seek God about it. They said they would do the same. Either our heart would change about the matter, or theirs would. Through that we learned to seek Him, and find Him, and ultimately listen to Him. 

When our parents encouraged us to go to God, they were encouraging a personal relationship with Him. It wasn't all about us doing what they said all the time. 

They also led by example. Like I said, when they asked us to seek God about something, they would do the same. That was a part of their life. When they needed direction, they searched for Him. When they didn't know what to do, they asked Him. They are obedient to God and it has paid off. 

My parents are very different but they compliment each other. They bring different insight and are exactly who and what we needed as we grew (and continue to grow) into who God wants us to be.

My relationship with God is real and personal. I love Him more than anything in this world. I desire nothing more than to be loved by Him, love Him more, and fulfill the purpose that He has for my life. That desire is because of the relationship I have with God but without the seed my parents planted and cultivated I would not be where I am now.

I'm sure if you were to talk to them they would tell you they didn't do everything right and that you probably won't either; not to make you feel inadequate but for when you do mess up that you know it's okay. 

They're not perfect. I'm not perfect. Neither are you. Or your children. By the mercy of God, though, we have access to unending grace and forgiveness that allows us to try again... all the time. If I could encourage you in any way, I would say to look at the example of Jesus and live like Him. When you mess up, because you will, apologize, ask for more grace, and keep going. This could only lead to you truly looking and living more like Jesus. 

A Moment In Time

The day is chilly and overcast. It's calm and peaceful. Like my heart. Rays of sun occasionally sneak through the clouds mimicking the joy that keeps making it's way from my heart to my lips.

Ducks are serenely floating the pond stretched out before me. They seem to feel that same peace that is encompassing me right now.

Tilting my head to the left a sweet little lady sitting on the bench with her tackle box and fishing pole catches my eye. She prepares the bait and casts the line. Patience. She waits. Much like God has been teaching me to do.

There is a mom walking with her son, watching the ducks. He gets too near the pond and she quickly wraps her arms around him, protecting him. What a gentle picture of my Daddy God's love for me. Walking with me and never leaving my side. Quick to protect me.

I'm in awe of His creation - nature, animals and people alike.

There is so much life all around us. Notice it. Embrace it. Learn from it.

Best friends, coffee shops, and heart to hearts.

Nights like these are treasured. I love our time and our adventures. Not much can compare to her heart, wisdom, and insight into the heart of Jesus.

Trust.

Why?

A question we can ask so many times without any answer.

A reason?

Maybe there is one. Maybe there is none.

Still none.

No reason. No explanation.

But trust.

No explanation needed.

Without answers,

without reason,

without explanation,

there is still trust.

So we trust.

In order to fully trust God we must surrender our desire to understand.

Reason Enough

The sun rose this morning and I thanked God for a new day. I remembered my reluctance to remove myself from bed that morning and as I drove to work with the glow of the sun through the perfect blue sky my perspective broadened.

I had been given life today. The One that breathed life into existence filled me with life yet another day. It's a life that is full of new mercies every morning. One that doesn't dry up or run out.

More than the life He gave me, I am given an unconditional love. It is a love I didn't deserve or earn but a love that was given with a great cost yet freely to me.

When the days seem dull I must remember that I have been given eternal life and unconditional love and that is reason enough for me to lift my hands and praise Him who gives it all.

We have every reason to thank the One who gives us life and love.

His love never fails us and that is reason enough to live a life of constant thankfulness.

"I Know I'm Who I Am Today..."

"So much of meIs made from what I learned from youYou'll be with meLike a handprint on my heartAnd now whatever way our stories endI know you have re-written mineBy being my friend...I know I'm who I am today because I knew you."

The truth this holds is painful but permanent. I have hope the end hasn't come but the waiting is hard. 

Thankful that God is our comfort through all seasons. 

Lived to Love for Us

"Can you hear the baby crying? That's the sound of God denying himself taking on the form of man in flesh. Can you see the virgin weeping? Thats the pain required for keeping God's great promise to deliver us from death. Merry Christmas to all mankind. The King is coming just in time. Into the darkness light will shine so bright and beautiful. Merry Christmas to all!"

As this Christmas season came to life around us I couldn't help but remember the life that was brought into this world that is truly the reason for our celebration. God sent his son Jesus so that we could experience true life and in that learn to fully love.

The lights, the music, the gifts and festivities do bring to life so much happiness and giddiness during Christmas but the true joy comes because of the gift of Jesus Christ. 

Even in the darkness of this world His life shines. Today, on Christmas, I received the news that a precious little girl whom I spent many (yet so few) days with in Moldova was in a car wreck and her life was taken. My heart is broken because I know the joy and love that she brought impacted many and will be missed. I am thankful she now is freely dancing with Jesus though. His love and the promise of eternity exceeds the pain and sadness that we experience now.

Again, we live because of love. Jesus' love is more than we deserve but he loved us anyway. He entered into our lives just as we are. 

"God is not offended by our humanity. Instead, He came into our humanity."

 - Louie Giglio (12 Words of Christmas)

So Merry Christmas; may your life be fulfilled through his life and love.

“Do not be afraid, for behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy which will be to all people. For there is born to you this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord. And this will be the sign to you: You will find a Babe wrapped in swaddling cloths, lying in a manger.” And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God and saying: “Glory to God in the highest, And on earth peace, goodwill toward men!” Luke 2:10-14

Living for Eternity

After a young friend passing away unexpectedly, so many innocent lives being taken, and an influential senior at my college dying so quickly from a harsh kidney infection, I am reminded of the temporary and broken place we live in.

I am heartbroken. I am grieved. My understanding is limited. This place is not my home.

"The years go by like stones under rushing water. We only know when it's gone."

It seems so unexpected. It doesn't make sense. We naturally ask ourselves "why?" Run to Jesus. Don't run from him. Remember his promises. 

These tragedies just remind me that we weren't promised easy. We were never given promises for no troubles. We do have hope though through Jesus who redeems, comforts, and loves. As hard as it may be to feel him in those bleak places, he truly is our our refuge. He never leaves us and he never forsakes us. It is a promise.

He doesn't cause the pain, the death, the darkness. We live in a fallen world. He brings life in the darkness though. He reminds us of the light that is to come and the peace he brings even in the midst of it all.

It all can be overwhelming but the sting of death on earth is lightened by the rejoicing of life in heaven.

Yet again, I am reminded to make the most of each day. To live in the moment and live for eternity. Our days are numbered and we never know when our last will be.

Remember to dance. Remember to laugh. Remember to love fully. Remember to live with eternity in mind because truly that is all that matters when everlasting restoration is made. 

It's Almost Surreal

Finals Week. It's almost surreal. Have I really made it this far? Am I almost done with this whole semester of college? 

It truly marks an incredible accomplishment. Not only because of how many classes I took and how crazy my schedule seemed to be but because of that load plus every other memory and lesson that accompanied it. This semester held much more than 17 hours of classes and 8 hours/week of work. It was full of experiences and growth that could not have come without me being away at college. 

As hard as I worked in those classes and as many hours I spent studying, it would all be worthless if I learned no lessons of value in the end. If all of my working was to produce good grades and completed work, my time would be in vain. Yes, God calls us to "work at everything with all of our heart as working for the Lord and not for men", so I will put forth all of my effort in what He has placed in front of me, but He uses that to grow us not just for us to spend time chasing temporary goals. 

Each moment of my life should be open for God to work. My moments of feeling overwhelmed this semester just reminded me how much I needed God. They encouraged me to let go of control and let God take control. In each moment. In each day. When I allow Him to lead He can do greater things through me than if I am trying to control my life myself. 

God faithfully infused wisdom in me when I was lacking and filled me with His strength in my constant weakness. I knew, because of Him, I was not walking this journey alone. His presence stayed near and His love overwhelmed me. He reminded me of His promises and my purpose as I struggled to even find meaning in the day. 

Without Him, I am nothing. Without His constant nearness this semester, I would have been nothing. I, because of Him, was able to accomplish great things this semester. I will leave trusting that He fulfilled His purpose for me here. 

Leaving is bittersweet as this is an end of a season. As Thursday draws nearer the excitement grows as well as the sadness that comes with saying bye. After fully investing myself into this place, these people, and this time there is a connection that has been built.

Layne and Jelly have been faithful friends. Their encouragement this semester has meant the world to me. The times spent with Layne, Jelly, Caylie, and Grace have made my semester wonderful. The laughter we have experienced together is not something I will forget. Treslyn and Wicker are the best "hall-mates." Their door is always open and it is guaranteed to be a good time with them. Tres encouraged me and prayed for me as God guided me towards the end of this season and into the next and I appreciate her for caring SO much. I am thankful for these friendships. Even though a season ends I have learned that friendships don't always have to and these are friends that have a special place in my heart and have made this season a special one. I am so glad that some of these college friends are from DFW and I will still get to see them and see the others that come visit then see them again and all the others when I come back to visit (: 

I spent four months at this school here in Arkadelphia, Arkansas. They may as well have been the shortest yet longest four months I have ever experienced. The fact that it is only a few days from ending makes it seem like it went by so fast but looking back at all that has happened makes the months seem like years. Each moment and day and week and month was so full of life. I pray that a bit of the life of Jesus in me is left here at this place and with these people. It will all be worth it then.

"And in the end it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years."

Moving in Obedience

This post is a bit lengthy but fully expresses the happening's in my heart. So if you would like to get a glimpse into my life as of now, continue on...

I have learned that sometimes the season you are in may not look like it relates to the next. Sometimes the place God has called you to isn't always easy but in the end it will be worth it. Sometime that place He calls you to is just for a season.

That is what this past season of my life has been. The season known as college. The friendships have made it worth it and the lessons learned have caused great growth but my time here is coming to a close. A few questions and some realizations led to God gently moving me into a new adventure.

Why would I spend my time doing things I am not passionate about? Why would I waste my time fulfilling others dreams for me when God has placed dreams in my own heart to fulfill?

College is one of those places God took me to that did not play out as expected. The more I was here, the less I felt like this would ultimately fulfill God's purpose for me. This semester was still a part of God's plan. It was simply a step of obedience for me.

Remember to be obedient. Obedience led me into this season but it also carries me out of it. Through a series of events (a love for high school science, inspiration through teachers, friends and family, and the sheer motivation to accomplish something great) I came to Ouachita Baptist University with the goal of getting my Biology degree, attending medical school, and using the education to travel on medical missions. They were great plans and motivated me throughout the semester. By the strength of God and the motivation to reach those goals I neared the end of the semester.

With many more lessons learned than what I could take away from sitting hours in a classroom, I had started to question my future at OBU. Was this for me? Is this what I really want? Will I be fulfilled in staying here? More and more the answer seemed like an obvious "no."

The decision to come here was clear. The leading from God was like a stamp in my heart. But each moment here was really preparing me for a later moment that could potentially change the course of my life... If I let it.

After encouragement from many people I made it to Thanksgiving break. I could not have imagined the turn of events that led to such a big decision over break. After pondering the passions inside my heart and the thoughts that so constantly filled me, I made a decision - one that was marked by excitement for new adventure, fear of disappointment from others, pain of leaving friendships that had so quickly formed, but most of all a trust in God who knows me and my heart better than I know myself. I made the decision to leave Ouachita Baptist University.

God knew my passions would not be fulfilled here. He knew this was a part of His plan, but not in the way that I thought. Even though I am not leaving with a degree, I am taking away lessons far more valuable than what any degree could give me. I set out to accomplish something great and I did just that. I was obedient to what God called me to then and I will continue to do that now.

I look back and see how all along God was teaching me and preparing me for this. Leaving is a hard decision. There is a security in college that is not necessarily there now. No, college isn't easy, but it provided a plan for the next 3-10 years (seeing that the plan was to go to medical school). 

My future is a wide open slate. God can take me wherever and whenever. He is reminding me of passions deep in my heart and truly calling me to a life surrendered to Him. It isn't always easy. It isn't always comfortable. But there is so much joy and excitement in this new season. Even though I don't have the security of college and a career that generally comes after that I am reminded that "the safest place is in the middle of God's will." That is where I want to be and that is where I want to stay. 

Coming to school at OBU was a God plan. My heart would not have been as moldable nor surrendered if I had not been obedient to follow God into this season. He showed me how desperately I need Him and continually drew me into His presence. He was preparing me for a new season of trust and an even fuller reliance on Him. He stirred the passions inside of me as I became burnt out with what seemed a mundane cycle of classes and is, I believe, pushing me into using my gifts and passions for Him even more fully. 

I am thankful for where God has taken me, where He has placed me now, and where He is going to take me and use me in the future. 

As I walk into this season, I remember that His ways are higher than my ways. He has placed dreams in all of our hearts and we need to continue to dream big. Ultimately continue seeking Him and walk forward full in the passions he has placed in you. As we walk forward in obedience to Him He will direct every step! 

"A man's heart plans his way, but the Lord directs His steps."

Proverbs 16:9

NO. MORE. LAB.

Those three words bring much relief and excitement to my day! Today was a long and challenging day but after today's lab I no longer had to go to a lab again!

Yes, there have been some exciting times in lab. I have performed some interesting experiments and made great memories that only science nerds can make together. We have laughed over cheesy phage jokes and almost cried when our phage didn't "do what it was supposed to." There were a lot of days we didn't want to be in there and plenty of times we got tired of reading our little virus book. I now know more about viruses, phages, and bacteria than I could want.

We (except for those really smart people) suffered through one of the hardest midterms and after today a final too! No, the grade reflected from those tests does not show what I have learned in this class, but the work I accomplished and the presentations I have given expressed great knowledge in areas I did not know I would grow in!

Today marked that wonderful accomplishment. Just Friday's four morning classes and I will be right on my way to a 3 day weekend, followed by 3 days of finals, and the most exciting yet bittersweet five hour drive home!

A Hopeful Ambition

Only 8 days left until the premiere of The Hobbit! 

The excitement is building, midnight tickets are bought, and the book is being read! I am a huge fan of the Lord of the Rings movies but am sad to say I never read the books for that trilogy nor for The Hobbit. I am changing that now though! I have only a week to finish the book and I have just started it but I have great motivation to read it before the movie comes out so I think I will be successful. 

Big Giggles from a Little Person

Last night I had the wonderful joy of spending time with my friend's little man, Silas. Since I have been at college I have truly missed the laughter and life of little ones. You just don't get to be around that in college. For me, that is a big deal! When I found out Morgan and her family were moving to Arkansas I was so excited to have good friends only an hour away. 

Morgan and David had a company Christmas party to attend last night and she had asked if I would watch Silas for the night. I gladly obliged!

Silas and I spent our night playing cars, making homemade pizza, "fighting" as he calls play wrestling, and just being silly. I have never known a two year old to make as many silly faces as he does. I think he knows he is funny too. He tries to get you to pay attention then he makes a real funny face. I can't help but laugh at how adorable he is!

Being with him was so refreshing! The carefree, childlike faith little ones possess is so contagious and I so need that in my life. He is one of the easiest children I have ever watched. Seriously. That makes it even more fun for both of us! 

I love life around children. I love their contagious joy and the great laughter that comes from them. Twas an enjoyable night :)

A Few More Lasts

Tuesday was yet another "last" day - one that was full of accomplishments and victory. Today was probably one of the most relieving days of lasts. It has marked almost the halfway point of my last week of classes and I completed another set of classes!

Today I walked into my Wellness class, heard sweet Mrs. Sally Dann talk about how much she has loved having us this semester, received my final grade (an easy A), and walked out! Although I don't necessarily agree with *everything* she has said this semester regarding health and nutrition, I have enjoyed her class and still taken away great lessons. 

Guess what else I completed today?! CHEMISTRY LAB! That is one of the biggest reliefs of this week! That has been a tedious and time consuming lab. It is so wonderful to know I completed that whole semester of chemistry lab AND came out with an A! 

No more Tuesday classes for me! Just a few more days of classes and I will be on my way to finals!